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Many people think money is important to achieve happiness .what is importance of money to happines.

Many people think money is important to achieve happiness. what is importance of money to happines. DaMna
Money and happiness, both are plays important role in human's life. Most of the people believe that masses get more happiness if they have alot of money money. Money is more necessary for get happiness. Upcoming essay will elaborate how money brings happiness and other factors. Discussing with the ample number of rationales how money brings happiness. First and foremost, fulfill their desires, in brief, if if individuals have huge amount of money and they can spend money for fulfilling their dreams which makes them happy. Money also fulfill their basic needs. Beside this, people save money for their children because of of their secure future and they also want to to give better education and luxury lifestyle. thus, wealth give happiness to human beings. for instance, a rich man have a big amount of money e they can afford branded things and they are not worried about their children life. Because they know very well their children spend best life without any hard work. On the other hand, there are many other factors which make individuals happy. Firstly, internal satisfaction, when people spend more time with their family members and friends, enjoy every moment with them and their talk with them which feel them happy. Although, masses can purchase everything with money e but, they cannot be buy relationships with money. Due to this, poor people are are satisfied with some money and they are being happy. Secondly, if folks do help of needy people that give internal happiness to them. What is more, folks can stay happy if they get success in their goals. To recapitulate, no doubt, individuals cannot survive without money, because money is most important part of a people's life. However, there are many e other factors which can keep to masses happy such as family and friendship.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, both are plays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in human's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
if they have
Possible spelling mistake found.
alot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is more necessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. Upcoming essay will elaborate how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors. Discussing with the ample number of rationales how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
First
and foremost, fulfill their desires,
in brief
, if
Did you mean "is"?
if
individuals have huge amount of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they can spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for fulfilling their dreams which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
also
fulfill their basic needs. Beside this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
their secure
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
future and
they
also
want
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
give better education and luxury lifestyle.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thus
, wealth give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to human beings.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
instance, a rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
e they can afford branded
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
they are not worried about their children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well their children
A determiner is probably missing here: "spend the best".
spend best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
Firstly
, internal satisfaction, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more time with their family members and friends, enjoy every moment with them and their talk with them which feel them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. Although, masses can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
everything with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
e
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, they cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
relationships with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Due to this, poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
are satisfied
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
they are being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
Secondly
, if folks do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that give internal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to them.
What is more
, folks can stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success in their goals. To recapitulate, no doubt, individuals cannot survive without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
e
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "mass".
masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
such as family and friendship.
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IELTS essay Many people think money is important to achieve happiness. what is importance of money to happines.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
303 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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