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These days more father stay at home and take care of their children while mother go out to work.What are the reasons and what are positive and negative development.

These days more father stay at home and take care of their children while mother go out to work. What are the reasons and what are positive and negative development. RWloV
Nowadays, in number of families males are mostly stayed at home and do care of their kids. However; females go out to job. There are a plethora causes behind this. As well as, by this work numerous good and adverse effects also. I will discuss both views in my upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are some reasons why women do job and what are the benefits. Predominately, today in 21st century girls are well-educated as compared to men. Even that, they are much intelligent also than boys. Consequently, they goes for job. Since presently is a modern era, and also increase the gender equality. Furthermore, by work women can achieve the hight standard in society. To cite an example, in 17th century women were not safe and also they could not receive the education. In the lite of the fact that, people were not like the women. On the contrary, present day they may do any work, which can do boys. Therefore, it is a positive impact for girls. Probing ahead, what are the negative effects? Firstly, females are much sensitive than males. Consequently, they may not do hard job. For instance, army, and Security guard. Owing to the fact that, these types of jobs are must taught. Besides this, sometimes females can get in depression. Furthermore, girls cannot achieve the good relationships with their children. Despite this, women when come at home from job, then also they do homework. In that situation, they always feel tired. Thus, it is adverse for women also. To recapitulate, although by education and job female can receive the good status. On the contrary, males also responsibility they should care of their wife and should spend time with kids. Due the fact, both are significant for kids.
Nowadays, in number of families males are
mostly
stayed at home and do care of their kids.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
go out to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. There are a plethora causes behind this.
As well
as, by this work numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and adverse effects
also
. I will discuss both views in my upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and what are the benefits.
Predominately
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in 21st century girls are well-educated as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
. Even that, they are much intelligent
Use "(also)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
also
than boys.
Consequently
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "go"
goes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Since
presently
is a modern era, and
also
increase the gender equality.
Furthermore
, by work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can achieve the
Possible spelling mistake found.
hight
standard in society. To cite an example, in 17th century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were not safe and
also
they could not receive the education. In the lite of the fact that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were not like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
On the contrary
, present day they may do any work, which can do boys.
Therefore
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact for girls.

Probing ahead, what are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects?
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
are much
Use "(sensitive)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
sensitive
than males.
Consequently
, they may not do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For instance
, army, and Security guard. Owing to the fact that, these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Did you mean "have taught" or "teach"?
taught
.
Besides
this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in depression.
Furthermore
, girls cannot achieve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relationships with their children. Despite this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at home from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, then
also
they do homework. In that situation, they always feel tired.
Thus
, it is adverse for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
also
.

To recapitulate, although by education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
can receive the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
status.
On the contrary
, males
also
responsibility they should care of their wife and should spend time with kids.
It appears that a preposition is missing after 'Due'.
Due the
fact, both are significant for kids.

IELTS essay These days more father stay at home and take care of their children while mother go out to work. What are the reasons and what are positive and negative development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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