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the plan below show a public when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today summarise the inforation

the plan below show a public when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today summarise the inforation YmEOn
The plans illustrate the changes, take in public park when it was in 1920 and today. overall the park had a servral changes, mainly Glasshouse and seats in right side of entrance streetin 1920, have convert into water feature, and the major in Fountain which in centre of in 1920 have replace as rose graden and sourrounded by seats. In 1920, park park as two entrance one by street and another one is from aronld Avenue, then is has concern side in all side of park and in the left centre of park we see a stage of musicans with the two of rose garden. while, if come to right side of the park in top concer and near to arnold avenue we see rose garden, next to that we can find pond for water plants, opposite side of water plants we can see Glass house which near to the Eldon street entrance. if we look closer today, the park, have multiple changes like additonal entrance for underground car park, and then Glasshouse as replace as water feature follwed by pond replace as children's play area. meanwhile stage for musicians as convert into Amphitheatre for concerts. then seats have romved for conern, and fountain replace as rose garden which is surrounded by seats.
The plans illustrate the
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changes
, take in public
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park
when it was in 1920 and
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today
.
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overall
the
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park
had a
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servral
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changes
,
mainly
Glasshouse and
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seats
in right side of
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entrance
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streetin
1920, have convert into
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water
feature, and the major in Fountain which in
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centre
of in 1920 have
Use past participle here: "replaced".
replace
as
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rose
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graden
and
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sourrounded
by
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seats
. In 1920,
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park
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park
as two
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entrance
one by street and another one is from
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aronld
Avenue, then is has concern side in all side of
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park
and in the
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left
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centre
of
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park
we
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see
a stage of
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musicans
with the two of
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rose
garden.
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while
, if
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come
to right side of the
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park
in top
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concer
and near to
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arnold
avenue we
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see
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rose
garden,
next
to that we can find pond for
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water
plants, opposite side of
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water
plants we can
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see
Glass
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house
which near to the Eldon street
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entrance
.
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if
we look closer
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today
, the
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park
, have multiple
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changes
like
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additonal
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entrance
for underground car
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park
, and then Glasshouse as
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replace
as
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water
feature
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follwed
by pond
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replace
as children's play area.
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meanwhile
stage for musicians as convert into
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Amphitheatre
for concerts.
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then
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seats
have
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romved
for
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conern
, and fountain
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replace
as
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rose
garden which
is surrounded
by
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seats
.
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IELTS essay the plan below show a public when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today summarise the inforation

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
213 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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