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Many people think advertisements are not useful for customers while others think that they are important for customers. Give your opinion. v.2

Many people think advertisements are not useful for customers while others think that they are important for customers. Give your opinion. v. 2
Advertisement has been used since immemorial times (OR form time immemorial) to promote businesses, but ad campaigns seem to have proliferated lately. In this regard, critics propound that advertisement is futile for customers, but there are many who convincingly refute it, as they believe that advertising is proving efficacious and helpful to customers in multiple/ numerous/ variety of ways; hence with this dissenting opinion, we see emerging a new discourse. To be candid, I (am of the advocate/ corroborate) that ad campaigns are not only helping to create awareness among customers; they are also a prime source of revenue for publishers of mass media like newspapers, TV channels, magazines, websites, so on. Firstly, advertisements are helping to create awareness among customers about availability of any particular product or service in the market. Almost every day new products are being introduced in market or previously existing products making improvements as well. In such dense market, where competition among brands is high, advertisement tends to convey the people why an advertised product or service is superior to other alternatives currently available in market; as a result, ads influence customer’s choice to a great extent. Additionally, it informs a customer, mainly about; various features, benefits, price and use of an advertised product or service. Secondly, advertising has a remarkable ability to reach masses and educate the society. Therefore, many governments and even Non-Governmental Organizations (NGO) often take help of advertisements to reach and educate people on important social issues. In this regard, Diamer-Bhasha dam campaign is a stark example, which is run by the government to create awareness among people about the imminent scarcity of water in Pakistan. With this campaign, the government has not only succeeded to educate people, but also been able to raise billions of rupee in donations for dam construction. In conclusion, pivotal role played by advertisements in our society cannot be ignored as they not only create awareness among people, but also help educate people about social issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
since immemorial times (OR form time immemorial) to promote businesses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaigns
seem to have proliferated lately. In this regard, critics propound that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is futile for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who
convincingly
refute it, as they believe that advertising is proving efficacious and helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
in multiple/ numerous/ variety of ways;
hence
with this dissenting opinion, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
emerging a new discourse. To be candid, I (am of the advocate/ corroborate) that ad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaigns
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
helping to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
; they are
also
a prime source of revenue for publishers of mass media like newspapers, TV channels, magazines, websites,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are helping to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
about availability of any particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or service in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
. Almost every day new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
being introduced
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
or previously existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
making improvements
as well
. In such dense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
, where competition among brands is high,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
tends to convey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
why an advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or service is superior to other alternatives
currently
available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
;
as a result
, ads influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer’s
choice to a great extent.
Additionally
, it informs a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
,
mainly
about; various features, benefits, price and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of an advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or service.

Secondly
, advertising has a remarkable ability to reach masses and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educate
the society.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and even Non-Governmental Organizations (NGO)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to reach and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
social issues. In this regard,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Diamer-Bhasha
dam
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaign
is a stark example, which
is run
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the imminent scarcity of water in Pakistan. With this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campaign
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
succeeded to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
been able to raise billions of rupee in donations for dam construction.

In conclusion
, pivotal role played by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in our society cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
as they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about social issues.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Many people think advertisements are not useful for customers while others think that they are important for customers. Give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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