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many people tend to watch foreign movies than local movies

many people tend to watch foreign movies than local movies xxwlb
Foreign films are more and more worldwide popular, which is threatening the growth of domestically produced movies. This essay will discuss the reasons for this trend and the most feasible being the financial support from the government to the local film industry. To begin with, numerous causes contribute to that people prefer to watch foreign movies than locally-made films. The first reason is that the quality of the domestically produced film is not as good as the foreign movies. For instance, “The Matrix”, “Star Wars” and “Harry Potter”, which are the famous Hollywood movies rely heavily on computers to create special fantasy and space effects and these things assist viewers in enjoying watching movies. Whereas almost the Vietnamese movies do not have enough finance to get higher special-effect quality with modern technology equipment. The second primary reason is the content of films, which is a crucial factor to appeal to viewers for a movie. To illustrate, “Titanic” (1997) is known as the best Oscar-winning movie. Never has there been a romantic movie that can be better than this movie, “Titanic” attracts viewers not only in the light of its quality but also extremely engaging content. However, if governments participate in supporting financial budgets of the films in their own countries, the number of people watching locally-made films will increase sharply. With this fund, the domestically produced movies crews will be able to purchase more sophisticated techniques in order to advance the viewing experience of watchers. In addition, the advertisements of local films will get more widespread around the world. Furthermore, the training to actors as well as filmmakers will be more prioritized and they also have more chance to go abroad with the aim of enhancing their knowledge about the movie industry. In the nutshell, a large chunk of people prefers to watch overseas movies, which takes a heavy toll on the growth of the local ones. Hence the governments have to support the financial budgets of the films in their own country, which will attribute to the development of the local movie.
Foreign films are more and more worldwide popular, which is

threatening the growth of
domestically
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
. This essay will discuss

the reasons for this trend and the most feasible being the financial support

from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
film industry.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, numerous causes contribute to that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
than
locally
-made films. The
first
reason is that the quality of the
domestically
produced film is not as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as the foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
For instance
, “The Matrix”, “Star Wars” and “Harry Potter”, which are the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Hollywood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
rely
heavily
on computers to create special fantasy and space effects and these things assist viewers in enjoying watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
almost the Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
do not
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
have


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
enough
finance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher special-effect quality with modern technology equipment.

The second primary reason is the content of films, which is a crucial factor to

appeal to viewers for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
. To illustrate, “Titanic” (1997)
is known
as the

best Oscar-winning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
. Never has there been a romantic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
that can be better than this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
, “Titanic” attracts viewers not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the light of its quality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
extremely
engaging

content.

However
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
participate in supporting financial budgets of the films in their

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
watching
locally
-made films will increase

sharply
. With this fund, the
domestically
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
crews will be able to

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
more sophisticated techniques in order to advance the viewing experience

of watchers.
In addition
, the advertisements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
films will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more

widespread around the world.
Furthermore
, the training to actors
as well
as

filmmakers will be more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
prioritized and
they
also
have more chance to go

abroad with the aim of enhancing their knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
industry.

In the nutshell, a large chunk of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, which takes a heavy

toll on the growth of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
ones.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
support


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
financial budgets of the films in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country, which will attribute

to the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
.
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IELTS essay many people tend to watch foreign movies than local movies

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
343 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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