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Many people spend large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings others think it is unnecessary to spend money on these events. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people spend large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings others think it is unnecessary to spend money on these events. xeQw
Money plays most important role in today's society and those who spend huge amount of money on celebrations are considered as a high status family. There are some people who think spending large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings is unnecessary. In my opinion, spending money on such events is wasting of money. This essay will discuss both point of view. To begin with, there are many people who spend huge amount of money on celebrating several events like birthdays and weddings just because they want to show their richness. Nowadays, wedding is the best platform for the people who want to show off their wealth. They spend huge amount on their designer clothes, jewellery and many more things. In addition, people these days organise such kind of events to sick attention on social media. For example, there are many people who show off their money by organising destination wedding and pre-wedding shoot. During the wedding, they show their videos and photos of pre-wedding shoot. On the contrary, there are many people who believe that spending money on such functions is a wastage of money. Because it creates a sense of compition among the relatives to organise a better events for their loved ones. People who cannot afford such expensive celebration but they want to match the high status society, borrow money from their relatives. For instance, in my residence there is one family who borrowed a huge amount of money from their relatives to organise their daughter’s wedding in Udaipur fort. After the wedding got over, they faced money crisis.  I believe that spending lots of money on these kind of celebrations is not necessary it is a waste of money. We should utilise this money for a social cause like feeding poor people or helping by donation in NGOs and charities.  In conclusion, it is our responsibility to be careful about our spending and instead of wasting money for impressing society it should be used for social cause or should be save for future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
plays most
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important
role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on celebrations
are considered
as a high status family. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on celebrating birthdays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
is unnecessary. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is wasting of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This essay will discuss both point of view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on celebrating several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
like birthdays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their richness. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
is the best platform for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
off their wealth. They spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
on their designer clothes,
Possible spelling mistake. 'jewellery' is British English.
jewellery
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more things.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
such kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
to sick attention on social media.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
off their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
destination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-wedding
shoot. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their videos and photos of
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-wedding
shoot.
On the contrary
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on such functions is a wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it creates a sense of
Possible spelling mistake found.
compition
among the relatives to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
cannot afford such expensive celebration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they want to match the high status society, borrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their relatives.
For instance
, in my residence there is one family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
borrowed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their relatives to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
their daughter’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
in Udaipur fort. After the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
over, they faced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
crisis.  I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of celebrations is not necessary it is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. We should
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for a social cause like feeding poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or helping by donation in NGOs and charities.  
In conclusion
, it is our responsibility to be careful about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
and
instead
of wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for impressing society it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for social cause or should be
Did you mean "saved"?
save
for future.
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IELTS essay Many people spend large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings others think it is unnecessary to spend money on these events.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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