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Some people think that young people can learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others argue that people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that young people can learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others argue that people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time. jYLX
In the salad days of millennium, young people are using electronic gadgets. However, there are predominantly two contrasting views where a section of society vehemently deems that by playing electronic and computer games, adolescents can sharpen their skills while other emphasize that it is fruitless. I am in consummate accord with the latter notion and I will elaborate both the notions along with my perspective in the upcoming paragraphs. Apparently, various factors make a handful of people advocate that young people can learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games and have many reasons to substantiate it. First and foremost, teenagers can grasp teamwork, cooperation and leadership skills by playing electronic games because sometimes they play games in teams or groups and that games require coordination among the team members to win. In addition to this, some people also postulate that adults can be enhanced their logical abilities and problem solving skills as well by playing electronic games such as puzzle games in which they have to solve the puzzle by using strategy. Hence, these skills are extremely fruitful as it helps them not in study but also in their future job as well. On the contrary, the proponents of latter view ponder that electronic and computer games are useless due to the myriad reasons. The primary reason they bring to the surface is some people get addiction of these games if they will spend more time on it, thereby it will affect their study and even health as well. They will et serious health problems like obesity as they will not play outdoor games. Furthermore, while playing games on computer, they have to put more concentration and on account of this they have to put the pressure on their eye which is not good for their eye. According to the recent survey, 60% of people ruin their eyesight because of excessive use of electronic gadgets. Thus, it is not useful for young people. To recapitulate and give my profound opinion, I would say that although electronic games are very effective to enhance some skills like teamwork, problem solving skills, cooperation, coordination, concentration and logical skills etcetera, it is making addiction due to the excessive use which is not beneficial for their study and health.
In the salad days of millennium, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
gadgets.
However
, there are
predominantly
 two contrasting views where a section of society
vehemently
deems that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, adolescents can sharpen their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
while other emphasize that it is fruitless. I am in consummate accord with the latter notion and I will elaborate both the notions along with my perspective in the upcoming paragraphs.

Apparently
, various factors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a handful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
advocate that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to substantiate it.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can grasp teamwork, cooperation and leadership
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
they play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in teams or groups and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
require coordination among the team members to win.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
postulate that adults can
be enhanced
their logical abilities and problem solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as well
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
such as puzzle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in which they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
solve the puzzle by using strategy.
Hence
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
extremely
fruitful as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them not in study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in their future job
as well
.

On the contrary
, the proponents of latter view ponder that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are useless due to the myriad reasons. The primary reason they bring to the surface is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addiction of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
if they will spend more time on it, thereby it will affect their study and even health
as well
. They will
Possible spelling mistake found.
et
serious health problems like obesity as they will not play outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Furthermore
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on computer, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put more concentration and on account of this they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put the pressure on their eye which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their eye. According to the recent survey, 60% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ruin their eyesight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
gadgets.
Thus
, it is not useful for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To recapitulate and give my profound opinion, I would say that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective to enhance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like teamwork, problem solving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, cooperation, coordination, concentration and logical
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
etcetera, it is making addiction due to the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
which is not beneficial for their study and health.
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IELTS essay Some people think that young people can learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others argue that people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that young people can learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others argue that people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.