Search
Vocabularying
Listening
Reading
1. Academic
2. General
Writing
1. IELTSWriting Checker
2. IELTS Writing Samples
Speaking

Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.

Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people spend a lot of money on clothes, haircuts, and beauty products to enhance their appearance. Some people think that it is a good way to spend money, while others think that there is a better way to spend it. xN39

In recent times, it has become a trend to focus on outer beauty rather than inner. Therefore, people use their assets to glow their appearance because of that they generally have a hair cut, purchase a fancy dress and some beauty products. It is commonly believed that this is a waste of money and there are plenty of approaches to invest it. While others argued. However, according to my, the former should be supported. To begin with, the crowd has a tendency that if it has people with the lucrative outfit then they are considered as a fashionista. Also, nowadays everyone wishes to look like a celebrity so for that people sometimes follow the existed well-known person as a role model and due to that they usually change their outer looks. For instance, a recent magazine of fashion association stated that there is a 60% increase in people who follow modern trend compare to past. In contrast, by not giving high priorities to such latest trends few people try to overcome that. Where they are generally concerned about the low-level community. They plan to give some amount of their income to them to have a better lifestyle. Also, applying so many cosmetics may have detrimental effects on one's skin in future. For example, it can be seen in recent surveys by global health organisation that there is a huge rise in diseases due to beauty products. To conclude, one should not give much of their capitals to look better instead they should donate their funds to some charities that work for poor and needy people.

In recent times, it has become a trend to focus on outer beauty rather
 than inner. Therefore
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 their assets to glow their appearance This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 of that they generally
 have a hair This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :minimize
cut
, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
purchase
 a fancy dress and This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 beauty products. It is commonly
 believed that this is a waste of money and there are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:abundance
plenty
 of approaches to invest it. While others argued. However
, according to my, the former should be supported
.

To This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiatecommence
begin
 with, the crowd has a tendency that if it has You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 with the lucrative outfit then they are considered
 as a fashionista. Also
, nowadays everyone wishes to look like a celebrity This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 for that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :in some instances
sometimes
 follow the existed well-known person as a role model and due to that they usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :alteradjust
change
 their outer looks. For instance
, a recent magazine of fashion association stated that there is a 60% increase in You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 who follow modern trend compare to past.

In contrast
, by not giving high priorities to such latest trends few You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 try to overcome that. “Where” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Where
 they are generally
 concerned about the low-level community. They plan to give This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 amount of their income to them to have a better lifestyle. Also
, applying This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 cosmetics may have detrimental effects on one's skin Did you mean: "in the future"?in the future
in future
. For example
, it can be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
seen
 in recent surveys by global health Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.organization
organisation
 that there is a huge rise in diseases due to beauty products.

To conclude
, one should not give much of their capitals to look better instead
 they should donate their funds to This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 charities that work for poor and needy You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
. 