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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience p0ym
Children’s lives today are very different from the past, and their lifestyles are often unhealthy. Some people believe that schools need to change this bad lifestyle, while others believe that parents are the most important driving force in trying to implement these changes. This article will study these aspects to determine whether schools or parents are responsible for this. Today’s parents are busier than past parents. For example, due to work, they have very little time to take care of their children. Therefore, for parents, some parents are more willing to give their children some money so that the children can buy food at school. As a result, their children can buy all the food they want, and no one controls them when they buy food. In this regard, parents have the responsibility to ensure that their children eat a healthy diet. One of the solutions is to provide food for lunch. By controlling the quality of food in the cafeteria and providing healthy meals, schools also play an important role in this regard. Another unhealthy lifestyle may be since children rarely pay attention to cleanliness. For example, in school, some students like to throw rubbish everywhere. Besides, they like to play with friends without worrying about whether the place is clean or dirty. After playing the game, they can hold the food with their hands without washing the food first. All of these may affect their health. Therefore, school teachers and parents must guide their children to lead healthy life and establish mandatory rules. To sum up, to change the unhealthy lifestyle of children, I believe that both parents and schools have a responsibility. While parents supervise and teach their children at home, teachers do it at school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the past, and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
unhealthy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
, while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
driving force in trying to implement these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. This article will study these aspects to determine whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are responsible for this.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busier than past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
For example
, due to work, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more willing to give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
As a result
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
they want, and no one controls them when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. In this regard,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have the responsibility to ensure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
eat a healthy diet. One of the solutions is to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
for lunch. By controlling the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in the cafeteria and providing healthy meals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
also
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in this regard.

Another unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
may be since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
rarely pay attention to cleanliness.
For example
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students like to throw rubbish everywhere.
Besides
, they like to play with friends without worrying about whether the place is clean or dirty. After playing the game, they can hold the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
with their hands without washing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
first
. All of these may affect their health.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teachers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
guide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to lead healthy life and establish mandatory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

To sum up, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have a responsibility. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
supervise and teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at home, teachers do it at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
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IELTS essay Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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