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Many People spend a large amount of money on celebration birthdays and weddings. Discuess the views and opinions of this trednd

Many People spend a large amount of money on celebration birthdays and weddings. Discuess the views and opinions of this trednd NrRPd
Millions of dollars are spend on birthdays and weddings each year certain people choose to spent years of saving, thousands of dollars, on a single celebration such as a marriage or birthday ceremoney, and their decision has a significent impect on lives. Therefore some individuals believe that spending much money on wedding and birthday celebrations is weastfull because it could be invested better elsewhere, but others support this practice as commemorating such important events strength families’ bonds and encourage people’s aachievements For long term benefits, it is arguably more advantageous to spend large sums of money on education and business than on a single day event such as a wedding (Explanation) Although it is true that many people have a day filled with fun at a 50 thousand dollar luxurious wedding, The couple being celebrated, can have years of luxurious life if that money is spent on post-graduate tuition fees or establishing a business (example) rather than spending tens of thousands of dollars on a destination wedding to Hawaii, with Lobster for the main course, the parents could wisely choose to purchase starbucks coffee shop for the couple as a wedding gift which could bring them years of passive income. This is definitely one perspective on the trend of overprised wedding and birthdays Expencive marriage and birthday festivities provide unique opportunities for extended families, Collagues and Friends to gather and build mutual respect collabration in addition this events also emphasize the importance of the individuals being celebrated, there by motivating them to build families and achieve a level of sucess that can continue such luxuries in the future. At wedding and birthdays, people can network and form relationship that lead to business ventures and future relationships. In addition the individuals also desire to repeat the same of their children Twenty years down the road on a destination wedding to Hawaii, during the lobster dinner the couple may get into a conversation with their uncle and decide to open a restaurant together is the future. Meanwhile, their cousin can meet their future husband at the same even. In conclusion, certain people ascertain that expensive birthday and wedding celebrations are an unwise use of funds while others feel it is a great investment certainly, thousands of dollars can be put towards long-term goals, however, it can also be spent fruitfully on a single day’s event, often times not only do people’s most memorable events originate from a wedding celebration, but also their lifelong business partner or spouse.
Millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
are
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
on birthdays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to spent years of saving, thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
, on a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
such as a marriage or birthday
Possible spelling mistake found.
ceremoney
, and their decision has a
Possible spelling mistake found.
significent
Possible spelling mistake found.
impect
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals believe that spending much money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
and birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
weastfull
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could
be invested
better elsewhere,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others support this practice as commemorating such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "events'" or "event's"?
events
strength families’ bonds and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
aachievements


For long term benefits, it is
arguably
more advantageous to spend large sums of money on education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
than on a single day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
such as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
(Explanation) Although it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a day filled with fun at a 50 thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollar
luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
, The couple
being celebrated
, can have years of luxurious life if that money
is spent
on post-graduate tuition fees or establishing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
(example)
rather
than spending tens of thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
on a destination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
to Hawaii, with Lobster for the main course, the parents could
wisely
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
Possible spelling mistake found.
starbucks
coffee shop for the couple as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
gift which could bring them years of passive income. This is definitely one perspective on the trend of
Possible spelling mistake found.
overprised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
birthdays


Possible spelling mistake found.
Expencive
marriage and birthday festivities provide unique opportunities for extended families,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Collagues
and Friends to gather and build mutual respect
Possible spelling mistake found.
collabration
in addition
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
also
emphasize the importance of the individuals
being celebrated
, there by motivating them to build families and achieve a level of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucess
that can continue such luxuries in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
and birthdays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can network and form relationship that lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
ventures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
relationships. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the individuals
also
desire to repeat the same of their children Twenty years down the road on a destination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
to Hawaii, during the lobster dinner the couple may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into a conversation with their uncle and decide to open a restaurant together is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. Meanwhile, their cousin can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
husband at the same even.

In conclusion
, certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ascertain that expensive birthday and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrations
are an unwise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of funds while others feel it is a great investment
certainly
, thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
can
be put
towards long-term goals,
however
, it can
also
be spent
fruitfully
on a single day’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
times not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
most memorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
originate from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wedding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebration
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their lifelong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
partner or spouse.
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IELTS essay Many People spend a large amount of money on celebration birthdays and weddings. Discuess the views and opinions of this trednd

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
415 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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