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Many people say that with the appearance of the Internet, newspapers and magazines will go to their deaths. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Many people say that with the appearance of the Internet, newspapers and magazines will go to their deaths. jb911
Newspapers, magazines and the Internet are some tools for people to update the news everyday. In the past, people used newspapers and magazines to get the news. However, teenageers today prefer to use the Internet rather than the others so if the appearance of the Internet makes newspapers, magazines go to the death. To a certain extent, I agree that the Internet may cause recession for newspapers and magazines. However, I also think that this modern technology may become a promote tool for magazines and newspaper The Internet has many great reasons that make it become more and more popular day by day. First of all, the Internet has multiple kinds of information about lifestyle, subject, nature, fashion, occupations, food, . . . . , which can help people too much in their life. Furthermore, it takes a short time to do the research so it is very convenient for users whatever they need or in some emergency situations. For instance, my teachers usually give me a large amount of homework, so I often use the Internet to get the information for my project because it has a theory, examples, . . . which can help me learn more about topics. Moreover, housewives can use the Internet to get diverse methods about cooking. Beside the Internet, magazines and newspapers also become the first choice of people. It is well known that newspapers and magazines have been popular for a long time, so they have become one of people’s habits. Since the 1970s, many people have a habit of reading newspapers everyday and it has been maintained to this day. In addition, middle-age people don't know much about technology, so it is more convenient and easier for them to buy magazines and newspapers. For example, my grandma, she doesn't know how to use the mobile phone, so she prefers to read newspapers than get information on the Internet. Last but not least, newspapers are censored by the government, so they have reliable information. In conclusion, newspapers, magazines and the Internet have their own benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Newspapers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
and the Internet are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tools for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to update the news
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the news.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
teenageers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet
rather
than the others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if the appearance of the Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
go to the death. To a certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the Internet may cause recession for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
.
However
, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this modern technology may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a promote tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
and newspaper

The Internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great reasons that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more and more popular day by day.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the Internet has multiple kinds of information about lifestyle, subject, nature, fashion, occupations, food
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
too much in their life.
Furthermore
, it takes a short time to do the research
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient for users whatever they need or in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
emergency situations.
For instance
, my teachers
usually
give me a large amount of homework,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the information for my project
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has a theory, examples
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me learn more about topics.
Moreover
, housewives can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diverse methods about cooking.

Beside the Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
the
first
choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is well known that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
have been popular for a long time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
habits. Since the 1970s,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a habit of reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and it has
been maintained
to this day.
In addition
, middle-age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't know much about technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is more convenient and easier for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
.
For example
, my grandma, she doesn't know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the mobile phone,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she prefers to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information on the Internet. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are censored
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they have reliable information.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
magazines
and the Internet have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits.
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IELTS essay Many people say that with the appearance of the Internet, newspapers and magazines will go to their deaths.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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