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Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school.

Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school. p8J0
Some people assert that universities should be offer to young students only while they are in the highest score whereas other assume all ages students can be accepted in universities, I am in favor of the former both of students are necessary for our universities. Convincing arguments can be made that intelligent people are more enthusiastic than other students. Some people believe the keen students have better future because they have good idea and they can solve biggest problem as soon as possible, in addition the sharp students might prefer a better solution to others and change the world, furthermore, young students are more active in universities that they may do more exercise, in their opinion they may be impowering their own universities and develop it, Whereupon, they are really effective on their own universities ranks on the world. On the other hands, others assume the elderly student have more experience that it may be helpful, they can share their experience and be a good leader for young students even if they have not any experience, they might face problems before that it can be effective. In addition, universities can give them second chance for being better, some people believe it is good challenge for all ages students that want to create a better future, they say “In the universities, students only focuses whole a same problem that they chose. ” so it can be a good reason for them to be more effective. On the basis of above discussion, there has been much discussion revolving around the issue that some people believe young students are better choice that they are intelligent and active although others believe the elderly students have more experience. I believe that all students have same chance to increase our chance to have better future with their guides.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should be
Did you mean "offered"?
offer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
while they are in the highest score whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
assume all ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, I am in favor of the former both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are necessary for our universities.

Convincing arguments can
be made
that intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more enthusiastic than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
the keen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
idea and
they can solve
A determiner is probably missing here: "the biggest".
biggest
problem as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible,
in addition
the sharp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might prefer a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
solution to others and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the world,
furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more active in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
that they may do more exercise, in their opinion they may be
Possible spelling mistake found.
impowering
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and develop it, Whereupon, they are
really
effective on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
ranks on the world.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hands, others assume the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
that it may be helpful, they can share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
leader for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
even if they have not any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, they might face problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that it can be effective.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can give them second chance for being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
challenge for all ages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that want to create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future, they say “In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focuses whole a same problem that they chose. ”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
reason for them to be more effective.

On the basis of above discussion, there has been much discussion revolving around the issue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
choice that they are intelligent and active although others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have same chance to increase our chance to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future with their guides.
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IELTS essay Many people say that universities should only offer places to young students with the highest marks, while others say they should accept people of all ages, even if they did not do well at school.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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