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Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whether other think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whether other think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. PyWd
It is clear that some people believe tourism was banned in some areas for protect local culture. although, some people thinks this can not have benefits. Meanwhile, whether protect local culture with banned tourism is a matter of frequent discussion. From my perspective tourism can not be effective in local culture. Convincing argument can be made that visitors have been changing the cultures and traditions, some people believe tourism might be effective because local people try to do some acts to make a money such as build a hotel or malls that it can change environmental and culture. This may happen with create a modern building while the local people living in humble home while they want to be different. In the next step tourism might encourage local people to will be different that who change their cloths and styles, in their opinion tourism can bring their culture up there and change local people culture. This idea can be contested from another perspective. Other people believe tourism wants to go to some where to visit the culture an tradition so tourism want to change and be like a local people furthermore this encourage local people to be more native, they assume tourism decide to go to somewhere base on the historical place but they like their culture as same as ancient place in addition they respect to local people and attention to learn their culture that This have never been changing culture factors. In their opinion local people can be more enthusiastic when they find the tourism are wonderful with their tradition and culture. On the basis of the above discussion. We have so many factors that are effective in local culture while some people believe this might be useful and others may be reject it. In my opinion tourism can be effective because they bring the money so the people learn the culture is worthwhile.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
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tourism
was banned
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas for protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
thinks
this can not have benefits. Meanwhile, whether protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
with banned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is a matter of frequent discussion. From my perspective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture.

Convincing argument can
be made
that visitors have been changing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
might be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
acts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a money such as build a hotel or malls that it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
environmental and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. This may happen with create a modern building while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in humble home while they want to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. In the
next
step
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
might encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
that who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their cloths and styles, in their opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can bring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
up there and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
culture.

This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
can
be contested
from another perspective. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
wants to go to
Did you mean "somewhere"?
some where
to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
tradition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
and be like a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
furthermore
The verb 'encourage' is plural. Did you mean: "this encourages"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
this encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be more native, they assume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
decide to
There isn't usually a preposition before "somewhere". Did you mean "go somewhere"?
go to somewhere
base on the historical place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they like their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
as same as ancient place
in addition
they respect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and attention to learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
that
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "This has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This have
never been changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
factors. In their opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be more enthusiastic when they find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
are wonderful with their tradition and culture.

On the basis of the above discussion. We have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
this might be useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
may be
Consider using a past participle here: "rejected".
reject
it. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effective
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they bring the money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is worthwhile.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whether other think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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