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Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v.5

Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v. 5
One of the most controversial issues today relates to many persons have opinions that say the distinct method to be in an acceptable role in society and for future is taking further education. But, others believe that after school, the students should work and have experience. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of view On one side of the argument there are people who argue that the benefits of taking a further degree at major will be an acceptable impact for persons and members of the family. For instance, when father complete studying, he will be the perfect model for his children. Considerably outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that the education contains is giving the persons many opportunities to be in high level in countries. Like, when one has a PhD, many people will give him appreciation. It is also possible to say that the society will be improve and have a high level of culture and education. For example, Japanese society, at least bachelor’s degree. One good illustration of this is my aunt’s husband have a PhD in business sector and this education is open to many fields in his life. On the other hand, it is also possible to make the opposing case. It is often argued that in fact, when students work after school, this will improve their experience and will prepare him for the future. Such as, if persons do not luck to have high degrees in his study, that assist him to make special business. People often have this opinion because not of all people can complete studying due to many people have responsibilities while they study, as an example for this point, my sibling has family and one daughter when he studied. A second point is that all people mental abilities not equally. In addition, some students are intelligent in virtual information and others smart in logic data. A particularly good example here is my friend have huge project where as she cannot complete the study due to she is transformed to another country while she studied in school. To sum up, as we have seen, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance, however, I tend to believe that completing education open fields now and in the future, one does not lose anything if he or she applied this strategy.
One of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
have opinions that say the distinct method to be in an acceptable role in society and for future is taking
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, others believe that after school, the students should work and have experience. In this essay, I am going to examine this question from both points of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
view


On one side of the argument there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue that the benefits of taking a
further
degree at major will be an acceptable impact for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
and members of the family.
For instance
, when father complete studying, he will be the perfect model for his children.
Considerably
outweigh its disadvantages. The main reason for believing this is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
contains is giving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to be in high level in countries. Like, when one has a PhD,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will give him appreciation. It is
also
possible to say that the society will be
Consider using the past participle "improved"?
improve
and have a high level of culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For example
, Japanese society, at least bachelor’s degree. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is my aunt’s husband have a PhD in business sector and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is open to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields in his life.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in fact, when students work after school, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their experience and will prepare him for the future. Such as, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
do not luck to have high degrees in his study, that assist him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
special business.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can complete studying due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have responsibilities while they study, as an example for this point, my sibling has family and one daughter when he studied. A second point is that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mental abilities not
equally
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
students are intelligent in virtual information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
smart in logic data. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example here is my friend have huge project
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
she cannot complete the study due to she
is transformed
to another country while she studied in school.

To sum up, as we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, there are no easy answers to this question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that completing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
open fields
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and in the future, one does not lose anything if he or she applied this strategy.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Many people say that the only way to guarantee a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. Discuss v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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