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many people say teachers should be responsible for teaching students judge what is right and wrong .otheros say teachers should only teach students academic subjects.discuss both the views and state your opinion.

many people say teachers should be responsible for teaching students judge what is right and wrong. otheros say teachers should only teach students academic subjects. JYQ06
Happiness is a widespread concern for us all, especially in today’s fast-changing and unpredictable world. While some might argue that this state of mind has great dependence on the amount of money we have, I agree with other people who point to a range of equally vital elements which will be discussed here. Perhaps no one can deny the key role of money to play in promoting our level of happiness. Having abundant sources of finance can not only safeguard us from unexpected situations of crisis or disease but also maintain our social relationships, thus leading to a better quality of life. For instance, a man would never be able to feel contented if he couldn’t send his children to school due to trouble of funding, which could result in potentially damaging his kids’ career prospects in the long term. That is the reason why many of us always try our best to make more money to guarantee a better life and consequent contentedness. However, I believe that there are various at least equally important factors that should not be ignored. Foremost among these is the presence of our elder family members, such as parents or grandparents. No matter how much a person earn or the amount of money that person has in bank account, he or she would by no means find themselves to be happy without being surrounded by their older relatives. For example, I remember being awfully miserable at the funeral of my grandpa when I was in college, though knowing that death is the destination that we all share. Secondly, having a job that you love doing also greatly contribute to our state of contentedness. Work is an indispensable part of our everyday life and doing enjoyable work would definitely make us feel happier. In conclusion, it seems to me that money absolutely improve our level of being happy but other crucial elements should also not be skipped, including family members and positive feelings at wor
Happiness is a widespread concern for us all,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-changing and unpredictable world. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
might argue that
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
this


state of mind has great dependence

on the amount of money

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
have, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who point to a range of
equally
vital elements which will
be discussed
here.

Perhaps no one can deny the key role of money

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
play in promoting our level of happiness. Having abundant sources of finance can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
safeguard us from unexpected situations of crisis or disease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
also


maintain our social relationships,
thus


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
leading
to a better quality of life.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
would never be able to feel contented if he couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
his children to school due to trouble of funding, which could result in
potentially
damaging his kids’ career prospects in the long term. That
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is


the reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us always try our best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more money

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
guarantee a better life and consequent contentedness.

However
, I believe that there are various at least
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors that should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. Foremost among
The verb 'is' is singular. Did you mean: "This is" or "these am", "these are", "these aren"?
these is
the presence of our elder family members,
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
such


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
parents or grandparents. No matter how much a person
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
earn


or the amount of money

that person

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
has
in bank account, he or she would by no means find themselves to be happy without
being surrounded
by their older relatives.
For example
, I remember being awfully miserable at the funeral of my grandpa when I was in college, though knowing that death is the destination that we all share.
Secondly
, having a job that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
doing
also


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
greatly
contribute to our state of contentedness. Work is an indispensable part of our everyday life and doing enjoyable work would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us feel happier.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that money

absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve


our level of being happy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but


other crucial elements should
also


not
be skipped
, including family members and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feelings at
Possible spelling mistake found.
wor
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IELTS essay many people say teachers should be responsible for teaching students judge what is right and wrong. otheros say teachers should only teach students academic subjects.

Essay
  American English
21 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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