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Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development? 220k
we live in the twenty-one century, which is known for its globalization. People are keeping their personal information on the internet mostly for the social networking sites such as Facebook, Instagram and so on. Nowadays, banks also recommand users to make account on bank website to access more features being at home. Some people believe that this kind of information sharing is dangerous, while others claim that it has lot of advantages. I firmly believe that sharing information has more positive development than negative. To begin with, internet haas become integral part of people's lives. In this technological era, living life without electronic gadgets such as computers, smartphones and tablets seems impossible. Moreover, social networking sites provide good platfrom for people who shares same interest. Social sites not only give possibilities for communication but also provide opportunities to earn fair amount of money. Therefore, it is necessary for people share true information on social sites. For an instance, social networking sites Linkdln is for job search engine where people must need to upload true information. Futhermore, we can see that people are too busy in their lives. Some people don't have time to go bank frequently for little works such as changing home address, apply for new credit card and checking status for cards. So, it is conveniet for people and bank if they share all informations for online banking application. Moreover, all these informations are password protected so there is no harm to share information for banks. On the other side, it can be seen that information sharing inspire hackers. No one can deny that information sharing may lead person to lose his money if he makes any mistake. For example, according to report presented by Royal bank of Canada shows that maximum time of frud happend when person uses credit card for online purchases. In conclusion, I would like to say that technologies are boon for society. It saves our time and energy so information sharing has become important part of routine life. Nevertheless, we should share our information wisely, if possible than only for security protected sites.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the twenty-one century, which
is known
for its globalization.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are keeping their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the internet
mostly
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
such as Facebook, Instagram and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
recommand
users to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
account on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
website to access more features being at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, while others claim that it has lot of advantages. I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, internet
Possible spelling mistake found.
haas
become integral part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In this technological era, living life without electronic gadgets such as computers, smartphones and tablets seems impossible.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
platfrom
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "share"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
shares
same interest.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
give possibilities for communication
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide opportunities to earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
amount of money.
Therefore
, it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
. For an instance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
Possible spelling mistake found.
Linkdln
is for job search engine where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
need to upload true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too busy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't have time to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
frequently
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
works such as changing home address, apply for new credit card and checking status for cards.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
conveniet
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
all
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
for online banking application.
Moreover
, all these
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
are password protected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
. On the other side, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
inspire hackers. No one can deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
may lead person to lose his money if he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
any mistake.
For example
, according to report presented by Royal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
of Canada
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that maximum time of
Possible spelling mistake found.
frud
Possible spelling mistake found.
happend
when person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
credit card for online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
.
In conclusion
, I would like to say that technologies are boon for society. It saves our time and energy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
has become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of routine life.
Nevertheless
, we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
wisely
, if
Use "possibler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
possible
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for security protected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.

IELTS essay Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
350 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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