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Many people propose that a bunch of technology available is the factor to increase the gap between wealthy and poor people. Meanwhile, others think that technology can have the opposite impact

Many people propose that a bunch of technology available is the factor to increase the gap between wealthy and poor people. Meanwhile, others think that technology can have the opposite impact 5koOQ
Many people propose that a bunch of technology available is the factor to increase the gap between wealthy and poor people. Meanwhile, others think that technology can have the opposite impact. While the former idea true to a certain extent, I would argue that some aspects of this idea are not quite right and I support the latter view instead. On the one hand, it is understandable why some people believe that the gap between rich people and poor people can be increased by range of technology available. In the modern area, some people use luxury smartphones, deluxe laptops as some types of jewelry and others who do not have these luxury gadgets will be isolated from the wealthy. For example, in viet Nam, a lot of young people who have a bunch of modern iphones, Ipads or other modern gadgets can be more adorable than others who do not have these things. Therefore, these luxury items might be the reason for the increase of the distance between rich people and poorer people. On the other hand, the reason why I side with the idea about technology can be used to decrease the gap between some kinds of people is the development of social media platforms. Social internet is the way to help people from eveywhere in the world to be more closer. An illustration of this is that there are several applications such as Facebook, Tik Tok where people can find it easy to express their ideas, their feelings and they can share their stories with others on these platforms. By using social internet, people do not need to care about the money and gap between types of people in the real life so this gap can be decreased by using social media. In conclusion, while some people think that technology can be used to increase the gap between rich people and poor people, I believe some aspects of this opinion are not make sense, and I endorse the idea that technology can help people to be more closer instead.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
propose that a bunch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
available is the factor to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between wealthy and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Meanwhile, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can have the opposite impact. While the former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
true to a certain extent, I would argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
are not quite right and I support the latter view
instead
.

On the one hand, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be increased
by range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
available. In the modern area,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
luxury smartphones, deluxe laptops as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of jewelry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
who do not have these luxury gadgets will
be isolated
from the wealthy.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
viet
Nam,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a bunch of modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphones
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ipads
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
modern gadgets can be more adorable than others who do not have these things.
Therefore
, these luxury items might be the reason for the increase of the distance between rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and poorer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the reason why I side with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media platforms.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
internet is the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
eveywhere
in the world to be
Use only "closer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more closer
. An illustration of this is that there are several applications such as Facebook,
Did you mean "TikTok" (= social networking app)?
Tik Tok
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find it easy to express their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
, their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
feelings and
they can share their stories with others on these platforms. By using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to care about the money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the real life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
can
be decreased
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects of this opinion are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense, and I endorse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be
Use only "closer" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more closer
instead
.
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IELTS essay Many people propose that a bunch of technology available is the factor to increase the gap between wealthy and poor people. Meanwhile, others think that technology can have the opposite impact

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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