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The Internet has tranformed our lives, but it does more harm than good

The Internet has tranformed our lives, but it does more harm than good 0BwrG
In the growing world where technology has become a necessary source of life. There is no doubt that the internet has changed our lives, it is an important role for many people in the world. But the negative effect on our lives is more than positive. I aslo have similar point of view which will be discussed in this essay. Frist of all, as most people are probably aware, social media creates unrealistic expectations of life and friendships in our minds. People use social netwwork to share their exciting moment, post about their significant other on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. They always focus on how many like, share or comment do they have. This make people live in the unrealistic world which they feel that they is the most special person in life. Secondly, Cyberbullying is other negative of using internet. Before social media, bulling was only possible to do face-to-face. However, people can bull other online by the way send hatefull messages, tell lies about other people to threaten or damage their reputation. Anyone can become victims of online abuse, they are suffered savage psychological damage.
In the growing world where technology has become a necessary source of life. There is no doubt that the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
aslo
have similar point of view which will
be discussed
in this essay.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Frist
of all, as most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
probably
aware, social media creates unrealistic expectations of life and friendships in our minds.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social
Possible spelling mistake found.
netwwork
to share their exciting moment, post about their significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. They always focus on how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
like, share or comment do they have. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the unrealistic world which they feel that they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
is
the most special person in life.

Secondly
, Cyberbullying is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
of using internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
social media, bulling was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible to do face-to-face.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can bull
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
online by the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
Possible spelling mistake found.
hatefull
messages,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
lies about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to threaten or damage their reputation. Anyone can become victims of online abuse, they
are suffered
savage psychological damage.
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IELTS essay The Internet has tranformed our lives, but it does more harm than good

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
187 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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