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Many countries are expercing poppulation growth need to be more homes.Some say that new home should be constructed in exciting cities while other argue that new town should be build to accomodate the growing population. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.

Many countries are expercing poppulation growth need to be more homes. Some say that new home should be constructed in exciting cities while other argue that new town should be build to accomodate the growing population. pbaWw
There is an ongoing discussion regarding population. A group of people believe that many nation should build-up new houses in recent cities or town. However, others are of the view that new society should be made for upcoming generation or immigrant people. Therefore both the view will be discussed before giving my opinion. Examining the former view, the foremost argument put forward by the proponents is that build up a high rise buildings require a small amount of land and make a lot of house with many facilities. For instance, basic facilities such as water sewage, electricity and transportation are avialable in exciting cities or town. However, people save money or time during travelling in comparison of new town or residence in far from cities. On the contrary those are in favor of latter opinion have their own arguments. To begin with, they claim that it is governments responsibilities to aquire land and making a residential area. In fact, many group of people living under poverty, so government have to be released scheme for those people. For example, as per news report, Indian government has make one crore houses in upcoming years with modern facilities for those people who are living in middle class or below middle class. To conclude and give my opinion, I would support former view. This is because the modern facilities already available in exciting cities for new homes, so why should spent money on build-up new houses or town, because it is require a lot of money and man power.
There is an ongoing discussion regarding population. A group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
Possible agreement error. The noun nation seems to be countable; consider using: "many nations".
many nation
should build-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in recent cities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
.
However
, others are of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
society should
be made
for upcoming generation or immigrant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
will
be discussed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving my opinion.

Examining the former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, the foremost argument put forward by the proponents is that build up a high rise buildings require a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of land and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
facilities.
For instance
, basic facilities such as water sewage, electricity and transportation are
Possible spelling mistake found.
avialable
in exciting cities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
save money or time during travelling
in comparison
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
or residence in far from cities.

On the contrary
those are in favor of latter opinion have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
arguments. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, they claim that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
responsibilities to
Possible spelling mistake found.
aquire
land and making a residential area. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living under poverty,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be released
scheme for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, as per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
report, Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
one crore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in upcoming years with modern facilities for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are living in middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or below middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

To conclude
and give my opinion, I would support former
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the modern facilities already available in exciting cities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
homes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
why should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
money on build-up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
Consider using a past participle here: "required".
require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
power.
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IELTS essay Many countries are expercing poppulation growth need to be more homes. Some say that new home should be constructed in exciting cities while other argue that new town should be build to accomodate the growing population.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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  • Many countries are expercing poppulation growth need to be more homes.Some say that new home should be constructed in exciting cities while other argue that new town should be build to accomodate the growing population. Discuss both the view and give your opinion.