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Many people believe that modern technology is making people more sociable while others believe that modern technology is making people less sociable. Discuss both the views.

Many people believe that modern technology is making people more sociable while others believe that modern technology is making people less sociable. yXa2d
The cutting-edge technological devices are boon for humans in many aspects. Majority of people consider that upgraded technology is making people more social. Whereas, the other consider that technology is the principal factor of reducing the interaction among the people. In this essay both the views will be highlighted. On the first hand, the electronic gadgets which are the part of technology are great source of communication. By the means of mobile phones or telephones people can converse with each other at any time and anywhere. Apart from this, social media applications also enables the mankind to interact with known and unknown persons. For instance, facebook and Instagram are great platform to socialize with others. Thus, in this way technology is very intuitive factor. On the other hand, the tech-savvy individuals always remain busy in using technological appliances which mitigate them to interact with the people who are in the surrounding. To examplify, computer and laptops provide knowledge as well as entrainment to people, therefore they avoid to go outside and meet new people. Along with this, people are becoming habitual of technology and excess use of it results into less participation in social activities. Eventually, people become more disassociate. To conclude, although, technology has bring the several nations and commuties together. However, it's negative side should not be overlooked. It helps the people to share their thoughts globally, but on same side it creates long distance relationship among the family members and friends of the individual.
The cutting-edge technological devices are boon for humans in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects. Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that upgraded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more social.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the principal factor of reducing the interaction among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In this essay both the views will
be highlighted
.

On the
first
hand, the electronic gadgets which are the part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are great source of communication. By the means of mobile phones or telephones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can converse with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
at any time and anywhere. Apart from this, social media applications
also
enables the mankind to interact with known and unknown persons.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
and Instagram are great platform to socialize with others.
Thus
, in this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
intuitive factor.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the tech-savvy individuals always remain busy in using technological appliances which mitigate them to interact with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in the surrounding. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
, computer and laptops provide knowledge
as well
as entrainment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
therefore
they
The verb 'avoid' is used with the gerund form: "avoid going".
avoid to go
outside and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Along with this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming habitual of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and excess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it results into less participation in social activities.
Eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more disassociate.

To conclude
, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
Use past participle here: "brought".
bring
the several nations and
Possible spelling mistake found.
commuties
together.
However
, it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side should not
be overlooked
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to share their thoughts globally,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on same side it creates long distance relationship among the family members and friends of the individual.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that modern technology is making people more sociable while others believe that modern technology is making people less sociable.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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