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Many people prefer natural healing process such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribed by their doctor for their alignment. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Many people prefer natural healing process such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribed by their doctor for their alignment. v. 2
Some people often argue about whether to opt natural process of healing or use pharmaceutical medicines given by their doctors to recover from illness. In my opinion, both the natural and medications provided by the doctors are equally effective in helping a patient to heal. On the one hand, natural healing process are often more gentle interventions than a chemical based drugs because they are easier to process for human body. Since natural healing uses herbs, scents or body itself, the symptoms during recovery are less intense and there are no side effects of this type of intervention. For example; I twisted my ankle playing a soccer last month and I didnot took painkillers instead i applied ice and hot towel to decrease my pain. I believe a more natural approach was right approach for this injury. However, medical drugs can be better for other sickness and injuries. On the other hand, pharmaceutical medicines are the right choice when a sickness is sudden and life-threatening. In many cases chemical drugs are more powerful and fast acting than natural healing process. In such cases, the obvious choice is to choose pharmacy drugs. A good example is my young sister sharia who is more allergic to bees and she had to use an epinephrine injection to save her life when she was stung on the beach last summer. Thankfully, my sister could enjoy her life better without much sacrifice. In conclusion, both natural and pharmaceutical interventions can benefit peoples health. natural medicines are sympathetic to body while medical medicines have faster and intense action.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argue about whether to opt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
of healing or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
pharmaceutical medicines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by their doctors to recover from illness. In my opinion, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
and medications provided by the doctors are
equally
effective in helping a patient to heal.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
healing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
more gentle interventions than a chemical based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are easier to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
for human body. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
healing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
herbs, scents or body itself, the symptoms during recovery are less intense and there are no side effects of this type of intervention.
For example
; I twisted my ankle playing a soccer last month and I
Possible spelling mistake found.
didnot
took painkillers
instead
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
applied ice and hot towel to decrease my pain. I believe a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
approach was right approach for this injury.
However
, medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
can be better for other sickness and injuries.

On the other hand
, pharmaceutical medicines are the right choice when a sickness is sudden and life-threatening. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases chemical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
are more powerful and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
acting than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
healing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
process
. In such cases, the obvious choice is to choose pharmacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is my young sister sharia who is more allergic to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
bees and
she had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
an epinephrine injection to save her life when she
was stung
on the beach last summer.
Thankfully
, my sister could enjoy her life better without much sacrifice.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
and pharmaceutical interventions can benefit peoples health.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
natural
medicines are sympathetic to body while medical medicines have faster and intense action.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people prefer natural healing process such as acupuncture and massage therapy to recover from illness. Others prefer to use pharmaceutical drugs prescribed by their doctor for their alignment. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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