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Many people play sport when they are young, but then stop when they become adults. Why do so many adults stop doing physical exercise? What can be done to solve this problem?

Many people play sport when they are young, but then stop when they become adults. Why do so many adults stop doing physical exercise? What can be done to solve this problem? pgBw
In today's era, people do not have time to look after their own physic. Mainly, working adults are the most affected by it. Obesity is a major problem which can be seen in adults. Being an adult, they have so much responsibility which leads them to stop workouts. This essay delves with why many grown-ups tends to stop doing physical exercise compare to playing sports activities when they were young. To begin with, adults are focusing on their work and studies which causes stress when they cannot fulfill their goals. Stress leads them towards having fun. They starts to worry about their work and studies that they do not get a single minute to look after their own body. Secondly, their work place are far away from their home, so they need to travel to reach there. As the transportation facility increases, people are avoiding living near their work place but instead prefer to live in their own home which can take their two to three hours of their day time. So they do not get time to do physical training. Thirdly, Gyms are too expensive and take a huge amount of time to get your body in shape. Every cloud has silver lining, similarly every problem has their own solutions. Companies should lean towards having a fit employee along with their requirements, which will encourage every one to also focus on their fitness. Companies like Tata hires adults having skills as well as having a healthy body. Moreover, Gyms should be built at work places and colleges. Furthermore, families should also encourage adults for exercise rather then entertainment. All in all, it is evident that adults doing physical exercise are more likely to live their life to fullest compared to the one who do not. It is recommended that adults should work out daily and maintain their physical structure.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to look after their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
physic.
Mainly
, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by it. Obesity is a major problem which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
. Being an adult, they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much responsibility which leads them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
workouts. This essay delves with why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
grown-ups tends to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise compare to playing sports activities when they were young.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are focusing on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and studies which causes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
when they cannot fulfill their goals.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stress
leads them towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
fun. They
The pronoun 'They' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "start"
starts
to worry about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and studies that they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a single minute to look after their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
body.
Secondly
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place are far away from their home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need to travel to reach there. As the transportation facility increases,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are avoiding living near their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home which can take their two to three hours of their day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
training.
Thirdly
, Gyms are too expensive and take a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your body in shape.

Every cloud has silver lining,
similarly
every problem has their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
solutions.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
should lean towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a fit employee along with their requirements, which will encourage every one to
also
focus on their fitness.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
like Tata hires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a healthy body.
Moreover
, Gyms should
be built
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places and colleges.
Furthermore
, families should
also
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
for exercise
rather
Did you mean "than"? 'than' is used for comparisons, 'then' is an expression of time.
then
entertainment.

All in all, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercise are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life to fullest compared to the one who do not. It
is recommended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out daily and maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
structure.
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IELTS essay Many people play sport when they are young, but then stop when they become adults. Why do so many adults stop doing physical exercise? What can be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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