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Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development 2Mp6
Nowadays, smartphone is populating dramatically day by day. Allegedly, people do not imaginate their life without smartphone. When people have free time, they spend their time smartphone instead to other things. On the one hand, there are some cause for this situation. Firstly, individuals have necessity that connect with smartphone such as communicating of people, taking photo, watching variou kind of videos or films, searching information and others. These features are very comfortable for people that they tend to smartphone for this reasons. As a result, people focus on using phone more. Furthermore, smartphone currently turn into show off among individuals. If someone has not smartphone or has not new model it, people make fun of that person. People use the phone so they do not feel unlucky. Consequently, people addicted to it without realizing it themselves. On the other hand, this atmosphere of qmong people have negative effects. To start with, smartphone cause to weaken in communication of people that have disagreeable influence on attuding for family. To illustrate, parents pay attention to smartphone, not spend their time to children. This is very pitiful condition for everyone. Moreover, excessive utilization from smartphone is danger to human health. It impact on people eye light and other illness. To conclude, people are losing their time through utilizing to phone. I think, individuals should control regularly their fettle
Nowadays, smartphone is populating
dramatically
day by day. Allegedly,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
imaginate
their life without smartphone. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, they spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
smartphone
instead
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things. On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cause for this situation.
Firstly
, individuals have necessity that connect with smartphone such as communicating of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, taking photo, watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
variou
kind of videos or films, searching information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. These features are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
comfortable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they tend to smartphone for
Did you mean "these"?
this
reasons.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
focus on using phone more.
Furthermore
, smartphone
currently
turn into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
off among individuals. If someone has not smartphone or has not new model it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fun of that person.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not feel unlucky.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted to it without realizing it themselves. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, this atmosphere of
Possible spelling mistake found.
qmong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, smartphone cause to weaken in communication of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that have disagreeable influence on
Possible spelling mistake found.
attuding
for family. To illustrate, parents pay attention to smartphone, not spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to children. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
pitiful condition for everyone.
Moreover
, excessive utilization from smartphone is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to human health. It
Did you mean "impacts"?
impact
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
eye light and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
illness.
To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are losing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
through utilizing to phone. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, individuals should control
regularly
their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
fettle
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IELTS essay Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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