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A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust no longer seem important.

A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust no longer seem important. A2NM
In our modern world, there is a tendency towards the fostering of having money and power in order to be evaluated as a prestigious person. Some selfish citizens have said that supporting expensive belongings is the best way to find "high level" in their social status. Others, nevertheless, think that people should develop spiritual and religious personality is the most important quality in our society. In this essay I will outline the advantages and drawbacks in those alternatives and I will explain why I agree that it is better holding spiritual and kindness personality. There are many reasons why some experts think that is necessary to develop a spiritual values and friendly relationships. Indeed, it is well known that the honour, kindness and trust are difficult to support in our modern society, but they are the base of the spiritual life and friendly citizens. In addition, it is therefore vital for people who are seeking the happiness in their life, having and keeping the traditional values as a result of the best heritage of ancient generation. In that way, citizens ought to conserve their values through of the education in our schools, as the first core of meeting in the childhood. Others, otherwise, argued that holding expensive real state and luxury cars are the best way to show "high level" in their social status. There is no doubt whatsoever that social status and money represent power and influence in our society. For instance, Donald Trump is the best model of this sort of trend, since he prefer spend his money in jewels and airplane instead of helping to evacuate the famine in his country. Thus, people having prestigious are not the best way to be judge as an important citizen. In conclusion, although some citizens think that holding money is synonymous with high level social status; experts have demonstrated that is better develop spiritual values in our children. In my view, I think that if people give high level in education in true values for our families, people will be judge appropriately and reach the true felicity.
In our modern world, there is a tendency towards the fostering of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and power in order to
be evaluated
as a prestigious person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
selfish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
have said that supporting expensive belongings is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to find
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
high level
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
. Others,
nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spiritual
and religious personality is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
quality in our society. In this essay I will outline the advantages and drawbacks in those alternatives and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is better holding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spiritual
and kindness personality.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that is
necessary to develop a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spiritual
values and friendly relationships.
Indeed
, it is well known that the
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
, kindness and trust are difficult to support in our modern society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are the base of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spiritual
life and friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
In addition
, it is
therefore
vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are seeking the happiness in their life, having and keeping the traditional values
as a result
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
heritage of ancient generation. In that way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
ought to conserve their values through of the education in our schools, as the
first
core of meeting in the childhood.

Others,
otherwise
, argued that holding expensive real state and luxury cars are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
high level
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
. There is no doubt whatsoever that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
represent power and influence in our society.
For instance
, Donald Trump is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
model of this sort of trend, since he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "prefers", "preferred".
prefer
spend his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in jewels and airplane
instead
of helping to evacuate the famine in his country.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having prestigious are not the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to be
Consider using a past participle here: "judged".
judge
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
citizen.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that holding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is synonymous with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
status
; experts have demonstrated
that is
better develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spiritual
values in our children. In my view, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
in education in true values for our families,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be
Consider using a past participle here: "judged".
judge
appropriately
and reach the true felicity.
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IELTS essay A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust no longer seem important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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