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Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? 7aJj5
This essay will not only highlight the problems associated with the people undertaking extreme activities such as hang-gliding to mountain climbing but also some justifiable reasons why people risk their lives. Since, extreme activities such as hang-gliding and mountain climbing give people an adrenaline ride. It gives immense joy as well as a feeling of satisfaction from escaping everyday lives and enjoying a bit. Extreme activities give a relief of happiness as well as one feels refreshed and all the sorrow fades away. Although, extreme activities give a feeling of happiness but one has to be very careful as it is dangerous and we risk our life in that. Some people may consider it a good trend whilst some people think that it is a bit risky to undertake extreme activities. It may prove fatal if one does not take utmost safety while performing extreme activities. In today's generation many hill-stations as well as beaches provide the facility of extreme activities, but one should ensure that proper safety gears are provided. People tend to risk their lives just for few moments of adrenaline rush. While I find this view of some people risking their life justifiable to some extent but I also argue that it is not a good trend to follow. Many people lost their lives due to fatality while performing extreme activities. People may feel enthusiastic for a while doing such activities; however, one should be very careful as it may prove fatal. In conclusion, I would say that people should only undertake extreme activities only if proper safety is provided as well as the rescue team should be available.
This essay will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
highlight the problems associated with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
undertaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as hang-gliding to mountain climbing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
justifiable reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Since,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as hang-gliding and mountain climbing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
an adrenaline ride. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
immense joy as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as a feeling of satisfaction from escaping everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and enjoying a bit.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a relief of happiness as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as one feels refreshed and all the sorrow fades away.

Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
a feeling of happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
careful as it is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dangerous and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
our life in that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
may consider it a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trend whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a bit risky to undertake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. It may prove fatal if one does not take utmost safety while performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hill-stations as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as beaches provide the facility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one should ensure that proper safety gears
are provided
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for few moments of adrenaline rush.

While I find this view of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
risking their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
justifiable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
also
argue that it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trend to follow.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
due to fatality while performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
may feel enthusiastic for a while doing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
;
however
, one should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
careful as it may prove fatal.
In conclusion
, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
undertake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if proper safety
is provided
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the rescue team should be available.
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IELTS essay Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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