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People surrounded by advertising. Which had an increasing effects on our lives. Do you think the positive effect of this outweigh the negative effects?

People surrounded by advertising. Which had an increasing effects on our lives. Do you think the positive effect of this outweigh the negative effects? VBl1D
Every product around us is a result of its advertising. Firstly advertising helps their product devlopers to reach their product in remote areas. As a result the sale of product may rise and creat postive impact in company's growth. Secondly advertising enrich customs to make decision about better products. Which helps customer to realised the the true value of their well earned money. Lastly advertising industry creats a lot of jobs and boost the country's economy. For example we have started our photo studio's advertising in various government and private organisations. Which helps us to creat new customers and enhance our financial growth.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
around us is a result of its advertising.
Firstly
advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
Possible spelling mistake found.
devlopers
to reach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in remote areas.
As a result
the sale of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
may rise and
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
Possible spelling mistake found.
postive
impact in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's growth.
Secondly
advertising enrich customs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision about better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
customer
Did you mean "to realise"?
to realised
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
true value of their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well earned
money.
Lastly
advertising industry
Possible spelling mistake found.
creats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
jobs and boost the country's economy. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, we".
example we
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
our photo studio's advertising in various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
. Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
new customers and enhance our financial growth.
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IELTS essay People surrounded by advertising. Which had an increasing effects on our lives. Do you think the positive effect of this outweigh the negative effects?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
103 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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