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In many countries, there are an increasing number of private cars. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v.1

In many countries, there are an increasing number of private cars. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 1
Increasing advancement in technology and development in economy have equipped people throughout the world with their own vehicles. This essay intends to discuss the merits and demerits of this particular trend. On the positive side, there are variety of advantages of easy access to vehicles for individuals. First of all, it is time saving and convenient mode of commuting. In other words, one needs not to waste time in waiting for the buses or trains, and furthermore, it is more comfortable than travelling by other means of travel. For instance, if a person has to attend a business meeting, he can reach on the scheduled time as per his convenience. Secondly, anybody can organise his/her itinerary according to the circumstances, and it provide more opportunities of enjoyment to an individual. For example, travelling with family is always fun. Thus, no one deny the pros of having personal automobile. On the down side, it has its disadvantages as well. Firstly, excessive motors on the roads will increase traffic jams and gridlocks would become extremely common. Consequently, it enhances the possibility of numerous health related issues, such as asthma and bronchitis, especially among older ones and children. A particular good example of this, is the capital city of India, Delhi, where congestion on roads have adversely effected the health of the masses. Also, enormous motor cars would definitely lead to environmental problems such as pollution, and fossil fuels would be exploited in sufficient amount. It is well known that these are exhaustible sources of energy, and if ones get depleted cannot be renewed again. this way, traffic and exploitation of resources are major cons of having automotives. To conclude, despite having certain advantages associated with private cars, its disadvantages can not be neglected at any cost. Hence it is the need of the hour to use these means of travel in an organised manner so as not to harm the surroundings and other living creatures.
Increasing advancement in technology and development in economy have equipped
people
throughout the world with their
own
vehicles. This essay intends to discuss the merits and demerits of this particular trend.

On the
positive
side, there are variety of advantages of easy access to vehicles for individuals.
First of all
, it is time saving and convenient mode of commuting.
In other words
, one needs not to waste time in waiting for the buses or trains, and
furthermore
, it is more comfortable than travelling by other means of travel.
For instance
, if a person
has to
attend a business meeting, he can reach on the scheduled time as per his convenience.
Secondly
, anybody can
organise
his/her itinerary according to the circumstances, and it
provide
more opportunities of enjoyment to an individual.
For example
, travelling with family is always fun.
Thus
, no one deny the pros of having personal automobile.

On the
down side
, it has its disadvantages
as well
.
Firstly
, excessive motors on the roads will increase traffic jams and gridlocks would become
extremely
common.
Consequently
, it enhances the possibility of numerous health related issues, such as asthma and bronchitis,
especially
among older
ones
and children. A particular
good
example of this, is the capital city of India, Delhi, where congestion on roads have
adversely
effected the health of the masses.
Also
, enormous motor cars would definitely lead to environmental problems such as pollution, and fossil fuels would
be exploited
in sufficient amount. It is well known that these are exhaustible sources of energy, and if
ones
get
depleted cannot
be renewed
again.
this
way, traffic and exploitation of resources are major cons of having
automotives
.

To conclude
, despite having certain advantages associated with private cars, its disadvantages can not
be neglected
at any cost.
Hence
it is the need of the hour to
use
these means of travel
in an organised manner
so
as not to harm the surroundings and other living creatures.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In many countries, there are an increasing number of private cars. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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