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Many people, including highly influential people, turn to spirituality at some point juncture) in life. What do you think are the reasons? How does their inclination o spirituality affect their liveS?

Many people, including highly influential people, turn to spirituality at some point juncture) in life. What do you think are the reasons? How does their inclination o spirituality affect their liveS? 0ApKn
It is observed that movers and shakers of society find recourse to spirituality either early or later in their lives. This makes for very exciting news especially when the person in question was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has been wallowing in luxuries all his life. There are some reasons for an influential person's inclination to spirituality. The first factor is the promise of peace that spirituality offers. Since influential people struggle a lot for their materialistic achievements, they achieve them at the cost of their peace of mind but after achieving glory they feel empty. For getting back the peace they go to temples, follow some gurus and practise some kind of meditation. Another reason is that before their journey from rags to riches, they thought that they would find fulfilment in fame but once they become millionaires, they begin to experience a shattering disenchantment, which makes them attracted to spirituality to know the real purpose of their lives. A person's disposition to spirituality holds a great sway over him. Firstly, his priorities shift from materialistic to spiritual fulfilment. Moreover, they become introverted and introspective on account of a higher level of consciousness that they attain through spiritual practices. Consequently, they remain untouched by negative emotions and feelings. For example, the sad demise of a loved one cannot cause any grief to them; neither do they put on airs about success. In short, they reach a state of equilibrium which cannot be disturbed by any kind of nuisance or hurdle. Thus, it can be said that at some point in their lives the celebrities feel a need to move towards spirituality and this helps them get back the connection to themselves which they had lost during glory.
It
is observed
that movers and shakers of society find recourse to spirituality either early or later in their
lives
. This
makes
for
very
exciting news
especially
when the person in question
was born
with a silver spoon in his mouth and has been wallowing in luxuries all his life. There are
some
reasons for an influential person's inclination to spirituality. The
first
factor is the promise of peace that spirituality offers. Since influential
people
struggle a lot for their materialistic achievements, they achieve them at the cost of their peace of mind
but
after achieving glory they feel empty. For getting back the peace they go to temples, follow
some
gurus and
practise
some
kind of meditation. Another reason is that
before
their journey from rags to riches, they
thought
that they would find
fulfilment
in fame
but
once they become millionaires, they
begin
to experience a shattering disenchantment, which
makes
them attracted to spirituality to know the real purpose of their
lives
. A person's disposition to spirituality holds a great sway over him.
Firstly
, his priorities shift from materialistic to spiritual
fulfilment
.
Moreover
, they become introverted and introspective on account of a higher level of consciousness that they attain through spiritual practices.
Consequently
, they remain untouched by
negative
emotions and feelings.
For example
, the sad demise of a
loved
one cannot cause any grief to them; neither do they put on airs about success. In short, they reach a state of equilibrium which cannot
be disturbed
by any kind of nuisance or hurdle.
Thus
, it can
be said
that at
some
point in their
lives
the celebrities feel a need to
move
towards spirituality and this
helps
them
get
back the connection to themselves which they had lost during glory.
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IELTS essay Many people, including highly influential people, turn to spirituality at some point juncture) in life. What do you think are the reasons? How does their inclination o spirituality affect their liveS?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
292 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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