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Many people hold the view that social media help us communicate and get information on news and events although it may be replace the the way people communicate to each other

Many people hold the view that social media help us communicate and get information on news and events although it may be replace the the way people communicate to each other 70bEy
The world more and more developed, so that human have many technology means to meet their demands, one of them is social media. Many people hold the view that social media help us communicate and get information on news and events although it may be replace the the way people communicate to each other. In my opinion, the benefits of social network outweight its drawbacks. On the one hand, using social media offers people several advantages. Firstly, social media help people communicate easilier, especially when people don’t have time to meet each other, we can talk by sending a message, calling on a phone and using some famous apps such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, . . . For example, when we have some urgent problems and need somebody to help or simply want to talk to an old friend, the one thing we need to do is touch our phone, find the one we want to talk, the rest of that social media will do for us. Secondly, social media help us search information, read hot news and events. We don’t need to buy newspapers everyday and wait for them to read, internet will help you update information going on all over the world, so that we not only can know everything about us, but also learn something that we never see it before. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that the aforementioned advantages are at the expense of greater drawbacks. Social media will make us feel don’t want to meet people face to face anymore. For instance, when we see our friend who we talk to everyday on the phone, we seem to be nervous because of having nothing to say. We are used to text or call them rather than talking to them directly, so that we don’t feel comfortable like we used to. Social media make our communication skills be limited. In conclusion, while using social media may have some positive aspect, I believe they are outweighed by significant negative aspects. Internet have some benefits, we can do a lot of thing with it, but sometimes it is a barrier which preventing us from communicating with other people.
The world more and more developed,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
The verb 'have' is plural. Did you mean: "that human has"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
that human have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
technology means to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their demands, one of them is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us communicate and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information on news and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
although it
Did you mean "maybe" (= perhaps)?
may be
Consider using the past participle "replaced"?
replace
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. In my opinion, the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
network
Possible spelling mistake found.
outweight
its drawbacks.

On the one hand, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
several advantages.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
communicate
Possible spelling mistake found.
easilier
,
especially
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t have time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
by sending a message, calling on a phone and using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
apps such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
For example
, when we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
urgent problems and need somebody to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
or
simply
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
to an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friend, the one thing we need to do is touch our phone, find the one we want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
, the rest of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will do for us.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
us search information, read hot news and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. We don’t need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
newspapers
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
and wait for them to read, internet will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
you update information going on all over the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can know everything about us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
learn something that we never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I am of the opinion that the aforementioned advantages are at the expense of greater drawbacks.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us feel don’t want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face to face anymore.
For instance
, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
our friend who we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talk
to everyday on the phone, we seem to be nervous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having nothing to say. We are
In the grammatical structure 'pronoun + be/get + used + to + verb', the verb 'used' is used with the gerund: "used to texting".
used to text
or call them
rather
than talking to them
directly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we don’t feel comfortable like we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
be limited
.

In conclusion
, while using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspect, I believe they
are outweighed
by significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. Internet
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, we can do
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of things".
a lot of thing
with it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it is a barrier which preventing us from communicating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Many people hold the view that social media help us communicate and get information on news and events although it may be replace the the way people communicate to each other

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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