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Many people hold a strong belief that both female and male should co-shoulder the responsibilities of housework

Many people hold a strong belief that both female and male should co-shoulder the responsibilities of housework OR0B7
In the light of hustle and bustle society, people are often occupied with their full-time jobs. Many people hold a strong belief that both female and male should co-shoulder the responsibilities of housework. While this point of view is valuable to a certain extent, I think it is not totally certain in terms of some aspects. On the one hand, doing housework together can develop the relationship between individuals. Undoubtedly, it seems to be the most efficient way to express share and care, which makes people feel a sense of kinship clearly. For example, that family members divide household chores equally brings family reunions. Moreover, by this mean, they are able to understand each other better and boast family cohesion. In addition to improving personal terms, it is a great help of this simple task in establishing balance in life. Balance should come from the most straightforward things including washing dishes, clearing the house and so on. On the other hand, from my perspective, it is anyway unfair for some full-time employed workers to be responsible for household chores. It is on the accounts of the quantity of work varies from one person to another. Understandably, a lot of doings in their office accompanied with the usual quantity of housework looks unbearable. Therefore, they deserve exemption from tasks at home. In conclusion, the balance of responsibilities for something like doing laundry or sweeping the house seems necessary. However, in view of how they are snowed under in the day, people should consider to separate housework suitably.
In the light of hustle and bustle society,
people
are
often
occupied with their full-time jobs.
Many
people
hold a strong belief that both female and male should co-shoulder the responsibilities of
housework
. While this point of view is valuable to a certain extent, I
think
it is not
totally
certain in terms of
some
aspects.

On the one hand, doing
housework
together can develop the relationship between individuals.
Undoubtedly
, it seems to be the most efficient way to express share and care, which
makes
people
feel a sense of kinship
clearly
.
For example
, that family members divide household chores
equally
brings family reunions.
Moreover
, by this mean, they are able to understand each other better and boast family cohesion.
In addition
to improving personal terms, it is a great
help
of this simple task in establishing balance in life. Balance should
come
from the most straightforward things including washing dishes, clearing the
house
and
so
on.

On the other hand
, from my perspective, it is anyway unfair for
some
full-time employed workers to be responsible for household chores. It is on the accounts of the quantity of work varies from one person to another.
Understandably
,
a lot of
doings in their office
accompanied with
the usual quantity of
housework
looks unbearable.
Therefore
, they deserve exemption from tasks at home.

In conclusion
, the balance of responsibilities for something like doing laundry or sweeping the
house
seems necessary.
However
, in view of how they
are snowed
under in the day,
people
should
consider to separate
housework
suitably
.
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IELTS essay Many people hold a strong belief that both female and male should co-shoulder the responsibilities of housework

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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