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Many people find it difficult to balance their responsibilities at home and in the workplace. v.1

Many people find it difficult to balance their responsibilities at home and in the workplace. v. 1
One of the most conspicuous trends in the 21st century is the difficulty of keeping a life-work balance. Some people find it hard to manage their time to be successful and fully responsible at their workplace and at the same time spend quality time with their families. This is certainly a problem faced by many. There is no doubt that in the highly competitive business environment, it is extremely difficult not to be competitive at work. Many workers are trying to survive and be successful and this forces them to spend more than eight hours per day at work. For example, an accountant not only uses to manage his responsibilities and duties but also does additional work. To manage that it is possible to limit employee’s responsibilities or share them with others. The next point that needs to be taken into consideration is that people should manage their responsibilities at home like washing, cleaning, ironing and also, communicate with other family members. To be able to do so, they must manage to not be overtired from their responsibilities at work. In this case, they will be able to spend quality time with their families and maintain their responsibilities. The competition at a workplace, increased population and our demand to do best in every sector is the main reason we are not being able to balance in our professional and personal life. The decreased family bonding and less time for socialising are two main reasons for this heinous trend. To tackle this we need to spend more time with our family members and contribute to household works. More time should be reserved for the dear and near one than spending those times in electronic devices. The value of family bonding should be taught from the early childhood and the parents should make examples through their works to teach children the importance of family value. To sum up, there are a lot of people who cannot successfully manage their responsibilities and keep work-home balance. I highly recommend people to limit their responsibilities or share them among other people or organisations as well as plan a timetable of time spend at work and at home.
One of the most conspicuous trends in the 21st century is the difficulty of keeping a life-work balance.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to be successful and
fully
responsible at their workplace and at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This is
certainly
a problem faced by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.

There is no doubt that in the
highly
competitive business environment, it is
extremely
difficult not to be competitive at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
workers are trying to survive and be successful and this forces them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more than eight hours per day at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
For example
, an accountant not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
and duties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
does additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
that it is possible to limit employee’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
or share them with others.

The
next
point that needs to
be taken
into consideration is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
at home like washing, cleaning, ironing and
also
, communicate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. To be able to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
to not
be overtired
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
In this case
, they will be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and maintain their responsibilities.

The competition at a workplace, increased population and our demand to do best in every sector is the main reason we are not being able to balance in our professional and personal life. The decreased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding and less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
are two main reasons for this heinous trend. To tackle this we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and contribute to household works. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be reserved
for the dear and near one than spending those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in electronic devices. The value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
bonding should
be taught
from the early childhood and the parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
examples through their works to teach children the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
value.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot
successfully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manage
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
work-home balance. I
highly
recommend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to limit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibilities
or share them among other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
as well
as plan a timetable of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and at home.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people find it difficult to balance their responsibilities at home and in the workplace. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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