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Many people consider that it is better for the young to live independenly. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people consider that it is better for the young to live independenly. pRQk2
There is no denying that, the number of young people who want to live independently, has been booming over the past few decades. In this case some people claim that it is beneficial to develop youth's social skill. While other people opine that they can come across a few difficulties or problems. From my point of view, although this trend has some drawback, it offers a greater number of benefits for young generation. On the one hand, it is clear why some people believe that it is better for most individuals to live alone from the young age. First and foremost, if young people live seperatively from their family, their social skills can be developed. In other words, they are highly likely to meet a variety of characteristic people and they have to communicate these people. As a result, youth are expected to learn how to talk other people and their communication skills are improved. Another point worth noting is that, they learn the value of money and try to spend wisely and save it for the future owing to earning money by themselves. On the other hand, there are a few demerits of living independently. First and foremost, when young people live alone, they need to take many responsibilities. Initially, this leads them to feel isolated, and they often feel depressed as a result. Secondly, they are highly likely to learn how to defeat troublems on their own. On the acount of the fact that, they tend to come accros a wide range of issues such as financial problems during the life. To summarise, all my points that I explained so far, I believe that even though living alone have some drawbacks, it leads to young people bringing up more independently which is essential for their life growth.
There is no denying that, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
independently
, has been booming over the past few decades.
In this case
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that it is beneficial to develop youth's social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across a few difficulties or problems. From my point of view, although this trend has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawback, it offers a greater number of benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is better for most individuals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
age.
First
and foremost, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
Possible spelling mistake found.
seperatively
from their family, their social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
can
be developed
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they are
highly
likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
a variety of characteristic
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
communicate these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
As a result
, youth are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to learn how to talk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. Another point worth noting is that, they learn the value of money and try to spend
wisely
and save it for the future owing to earning money by themselves.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are a few demerits of living
independently
.
First
and foremost, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
alone, they need to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
responsibilities.
Initially
, this leads them to feel isolated, and they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
feel depressed
as a result
.
Secondly
, they are
highly
likely to learn how to defeat
Possible spelling mistake found.
troublems
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. On the
Possible spelling mistake found.
acount
of the fact that, they tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
Possible spelling mistake found.
accros
a wide range of issues such as financial problems during the life.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, all my points that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, I believe that
even though
living alone have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks, it leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
bringing up more
independently
which is essential for their life growth.
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IELTS essay Many people consider that it is better for the young to live independenly.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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