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Many people consider that it is better for the young to live independenly. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people consider that it is better for the young to live independenly. pRQk2
There is no denying that, the number of young people who want to live independently, has been booming over the past few decades. In this case some people claim that it is beneficial to develop youth's social skill. While other people opine that they can come across a few difficulties or problems. From my point of view, although this trend has some drawback, it offers a greater number of benefits for young generation. On the one hand, it is clear why some people believe that it is better for most individuals to live alone from the young age. First and foremost, if young people live seperatively from their family, their social skills can be developed. In other words, they are highly likely to meet a variety of characteristic people and they have to communicate these people. As a result, youth are expected to learn how to talk other people and their communication skills are improved. Another point worth noting is that, they learn the value of money and try to spend wisely and save it for the future owing to earning money by themselves. On the other hand, there are a few demerits of living independently. First and foremost, when young people live alone, they need to take many responsibilities. Initially, this leads them to feel isolated, and they often feel depressed as a result. Secondly, they are highly likely to learn how to defeat troublems on their own. On the acount of the fact that, they tend to come accros a wide range of issues such as financial problems during the life. To summarise, all my points that I explained so far, I believe that even though living alone have some drawbacks, it leads to young people bringing up more independently which is essential for their life growth.
There is no denying that, the number of
young
people
who want to
live
independently
, has been booming over the past few decades.
In this case
some
people
claim that it is beneficial to develop youth's social
skill
. While
other
people
opine that they can
come
across a few difficulties or problems. From my point of view, although this trend has
some
drawback, it offers a greater number of benefits for
young
generation.

On the one hand, it is
clear
why
some
people
believe that it is better for most individuals to
live
alone from the
young
age.
First
and foremost, if
young
people
live
seperatively
from their family, their social
skills
can
be developed
. In
other
words, they are
highly
likely to
meet
a variety of characteristic
people and
they
have to
communicate these
people
.
As a result
, youth are
expected
to learn how to talk
other
people
and their communication
skills
are
improved
. Another point worth noting is that, they learn the value of money and try to spend
wisely
and save it for the future owing to earning money by themselves.

On the
other
hand, there are a few demerits of living
independently
.
First
and foremost, when
young
people
live
alone, they need to take
many
responsibilities.
Initially
, this leads them to feel isolated, and they
often
feel depressed
as a result
.
Secondly
, they are
highly
likely to learn how to defeat
troublems
on their
own
. On the
acount
of the fact that, they tend to
come
accros
a wide range of issues such as financial problems during the life.

To
summarise
, all my points that I
explained
so
far, I believe that
even though
living alone have
some
drawbacks, it leads to
young
people
bringing up more
independently
which is essential for their life growth.
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IELTS essay Many people consider that it is better for the young to live independenly.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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