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Junk food is bad for health do you agree or disagree?

Junk food is bad for health do you agree or disagree? aw9nX
In addition to this, people will be discouraged to purchase these items, and Instead they will spend money on healthy foods. This is because, they will be reluctant simply buying a burger with a high tax rather people will concentrate on buying a basket of fruits. To illustrate the example of Thailand, where the citizens are extremely cautious about buying foods from outside because of strict levy on packaged foods. If people can become habituated to hygienic food taking, the overall health of rating of will be greatly improved. This is only possible through imposing heavy tax on junk food.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
be discouraged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
these items, and
Instead
they will spend money on healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they will be reluctant
simply
buying a burger with a high tax
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will concentrate on buying a basket of fruits. To illustrate the example of Thailand, where the citizens are
extremely
cautious about buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from outside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of strict levy on packaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can become habituated to hygienic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
taking, the
overall
health of rating of will be
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible through imposing heavy tax on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.

IELTS essay Junk food is bad for health do you agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
100 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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