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Many people claim that unpaid voluntary work should be obligatory in high school curriculum. While it is true that this type of work can be beneficial in some extent, I would content that it should not be a requirement.

Many people claim that unpaid voluntary work should be obligatory in high school curriculum. While it is true that this type of work can be beneficial in some extent, I would content that it should not be a requirement. qQeEw
Many people claim that unpaid voluntary work should be obligatory in high school curriculum. While it is true that this type of work can be beneficial in some extent, I would content that it should not be a requirement. To begin with, there are several why unpaid community services should be added in the programs of high school. Firstly, when taking part in voluntary work, students can learn many skills. For example, , my 15-year-old younger brother usually participates in a voluntary program called “ beach cleaning” held by the local authority in summers, which gives him the chance to improve his teamwork skills by learning how to cooperate with other members in his team. Secondly, governments do not have to pay money for community activities carried out by volunteers. This allows governments to save a signifiant amount of money which could be invested in other critical sectors such as health services and transports. For example, instead of using a huge amount of money to employ trash treatment businesses, hundreds of students studying at my local high school participate in a weekly volunteer activity called “ beach cleaning”. However, I do not think high school student should be forced to take part in unpaid work for their community. Primarily, because there are many large projects and even big campains held in remote areas, students have to spend a huge amount of time on travelling and organizing these programs. This may lead to a reduction of learning time and even some students may be absent from school. As a result, their learning quality could be negatively impacted. In addition, there are currently many organizations take advantage of young volunteers to carry out community activities to serve their private purposes. Therefore, when becoming aware of these issues, people tend to have negative attitudes towards volunteer work, which means that community will lose a large number of volunteers in the future. In conclusion, while being involved in voluntary activities can be benefit to every student, I am in favour of being unpaid volunteers should not br required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should be obligatory in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum. While it is true that this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I would content that it should not be a requirement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several why unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
services should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in the programs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Firstly
, when taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
,
Two consecutive commas
,
my 15-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
younger brother
usually
participates in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voluntary
program called
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
beach cleaning” held by the local authority in summers, which gives him the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
his teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by learning how to cooperate with other members in his team.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay money for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
carried out by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to save a
Possible spelling mistake found.
signifiant
amount of money which could
be invested
in other critical sectors such as health services and transports.
For example
,
instead
of using a huge amount of money to employ trash treatment businesses, hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
studying at my local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
participate in a weekly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
called
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
beach cleaning”.

However
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
Primarily
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
large projects and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake found.
campains
held in remote areas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend a huge amount of time on travelling and organizing these programs. This may lead to a reduction of learning time and even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may be absent from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
As a result
, their learning quality could be
negatively
impacted.
In addition
, there are
currently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations take advantage of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
to carry out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to serve their private purposes.
Therefore
, when becoming aware of these issues,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitudes towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, which means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
will lose
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
in the future.

In conclusion
, while
being involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
voluntary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can be benefit to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of being unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
should not
Possible spelling mistake found.
br
required
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IELTS essay Many people claim that unpaid voluntary work should be obligatory in high school curriculum. While it is true that this type of work can be beneficial in some extent, I would content that it should not be a requirement.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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