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Arts or public sector for investment

Arts or public sector for investment xPVkb
Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead Art is one of the best human cognitive attitude that result in progression and development. Government should patronize the art and culture as well as the public service sector. Although public service investment is highly important for the common mass arts I do really think art must be considered as a way of intellectual improvement in society. So investment in art is a great initiative for the governments. Arts are the form of different expression to express solidarity. It is a form of expression that focus on the idea of representation. As art can be in different format people can learn a lot from art. It will also help them to broaden their minds and attitude. Dancing salsa is a common art form for South American whereas classical dance is more common in Indian Subcontinent. Therefore it can clarify the identity along with nations all over the world. Arts as a freedom of expression is extremely plausible. During our liberation war at 1971 people were getting inspired from the song and poetry of the rebellion against the autocracy of Pakistan. So investing in art can delve us into a long lasting history and our root. People can now easily learn from the museum and song about the liberation war although most of them are from the later generations. So art must be encouraged to uplift the mentality of the common mass. Public Service is highly important for the well being of the common mass. Without an effective policy in public service the countrymen will suffer in the long run from their basic right of health care. Channeling those investment into art rather than health sector could be a matter of suicidal. But without art the mind and ideology cannot be developed. If ideology cannot be developed perfectly the common mass can be misused by the devastating activities like suicidal bombing and autonomy that could ultimately result in chaos. So health is same important as well as a sound mind. Investment of money should be authentic. Random investment of money in public sector most of time gets wasted. Due to huge corruption these kinds of budget cannot see the light. Therefore at the end of the day although Government tries to improve the life style of people, without the perfect utilization of a broaden minds one cannot understand the value of that investment. That broaden minds could be formed through art and culture of the society. Arts are the unique form of expression. After the twenty first century Arts must be encouraged as important as in the other service of the public sector. Otherwise the development of other sectors would not yield in fruit. I do strongly recommend to establish a framework to balance between the investment of public sector and Arts so that people can be enriched themselves both mentally and physically. A strong society can be built up with the perfect balance between arts and the public sectors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, such as music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
instead


Art is one of the best human cognitive attitude that result in progression and development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should patronize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and culture
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
is
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
I do
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
as a way of intellectual improvement in society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a great initiative for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

Arts are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
to express solidarity. It is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
that focus on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of representation.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can be in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
format
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn a lot from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. It will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to broaden their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minds
and attitude. Dancing salsa is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
for South American whereas classical dance is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
in Indian Subcontinent.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
it can clarify the identity along with nations all over the world.

Arts as
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "freedom".
a freedom
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
is
extremely
plausible. During our liberation war at 1971
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were getting inspired from the song and poetry of the rebellion against the autocracy of Pakistan.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
investing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can delve us into a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
long lasting
history and our root.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
easily
learn from the museum and song about the liberation war although most of them are from the later generations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
to uplift the mentality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
mass.

Public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Service
is
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
mass. Without an effective policy in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
the countrymen will suffer in the long run from their basic right of health care. Channeling those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
rather
than health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
could be a matter of suicidal.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and ideology cannot
be developed
. If ideology cannot
be developed
perfectly
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
mass can
be misused
by the devastating activities like suicidal bombing and autonomy that could
ultimately
result in chaos.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
health is same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as well
as a sound mind.

Investment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
should be authentic. Random
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
most of time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
wasted. Due to huge corruption these kinds of budget cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the light.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the day although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the life style of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, without the perfect utilization of
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'broaden' is correct. If 'broaden' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a broaden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minds
one cannot understand the value of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
. That broaden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minds
could
be formed
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and culture of the society.

Arts are the unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
form
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
the twenty
first
century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as in the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
the development of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
would not yield in fruit. I do
strongly
The verb 'recommend' is used with the gerund form: "recommend establishing".
recommend to establish
a framework to balance between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
investment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be enriched
themselves both mentally and
physically
. A strong society can
be built
up with the perfect balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
.
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IELTS essay Arts or public sector for investment

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
513 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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