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Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of culture diversity?

Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of culture diversity? xPVLb
Today, people from different cultures live together in many cosmopolitan cities in the world. There are some advantages and disadvantages of multiculturalism in the world countries. This essay will examine both and provide a logical conclusion. The two main advantage of cultural diversity is relationship between people from different cultures and the fact that humans gain knowledge about different cultures which are strange for them. Firstly, the coexistence of people from different nationalities strengthens ties between them. They respect each other’s customs and cultures. This, in turn, may create strong spiritual connections between nations. Another advantage is that people who settled in multicultural city or country can have a chance to get a great information about various cultures and customs which are new for them. It may have positive effects on developing outlook to new cultures. However, there are some drawbacks of cultural diversity. The first disadvantage is loss of traditions. As people learn different cultures, they can forget their ones. Sometimes this may lead to the loss of national identity. Those humans who share a common background with other nationalities may even lose a sense of belonging to their own nation. Another negative side of multiculturalism is some conflicts between people from different ethnic groups. It can happen for a variety of reasons. For instance, some people neglect traditions of those who are from different communities. It may have detrimental effects on communication between nations. In conclusion, despite the fact that there are some drawbacks of cultural diversity, living in multi-cultural societies is more beneficial for people.
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Today
,
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people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cosmopolitan cities in the world. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages of multiculturalism in the world countries. This essay will examine both and provide a logical conclusion.

The two main advantage of cultural diversity is relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and the fact that humans gain knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
which are strange for them.
Firstly
, the coexistence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nationalities strengthens ties between them. They respect each other’s customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. This, in turn, may create strong spiritual connections between nations. Another advantage is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who settled in multicultural city or country can have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
'information' is a mass noun (i.e., uncountable). Therefore, the preceding 'a' is probably wrong.
a great information
about various
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cultures
and customs which are new for them. It may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on developing outlook to new cultures.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of cultural diversity. The
first
disadvantage is loss of traditions. As
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people
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, they can forget their ones.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
this may lead to the loss of national identity. Those humans who share a common background with other nationalities may even lose a sense of belonging to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of multiculturalism is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conflicts between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ethnic groups. It can happen for a variety of reasons.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
neglect traditions of those who are from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
communities. It may have detrimental effects on communication between nations.

In conclusion
, despite the fact that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of cultural diversity, living in multi-cultural societies is more beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays many countries have very cosmopolitan cities with people from all over the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of culture diversity?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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