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Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed? 855Xl
Exhibiting animals in the zoo is a common phenomina and it has been maintained and controlled by governments. Due to extinction of some species many animal lovers think zoos must completely shutdown and animals should be freed in to the wild or sanctuarys. Today we will discuss several problems of zoos and also talk about alternatives if they close in the future. There are as many as hundreds of species of wild animals are displayed in the zoos in every country. In some countries due to poor maintenance and lack of food supply some species are dying from disease and starved to death. In addition, animals get sick when seasonal changes takes place especially in the hot summer. For instance, In africa some animals are not protected by authorities when temperature reaches high as 45 degree centigrade, as a result animals suffer from sun stroke and exhausted due to heat waves. Thus, animals cannot survive in zoo if there is no proper maintenace, temperature and food is provided. There are some alternatives to zoos where we can protect various animal species and promote tourism. Firstly, Freeing animals in to national parks and sanctuary will improve population of species. Allowing safari tour brings a new experience for the people to enjoy the nature and the revenue generated can be used for animal protection. Secondly, animals in captivity helps to prolong their life. for example, an elephant can live in the wild for about 60 to 70 years, when it is in the captivity we can protect their life to 90-100 years approximatly. Thus, when compared to zoo, national parks are the best alternative for protecting animals. In conclusion, zoos might be closed in the future due to improper maintanance, but there is always an alternative to protect animals from human negligence so, I believe national parks and sanctuarys are the best places to preserve endangered species.
Exhibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the zoo is a common
Possible spelling mistake found.
phenomina
and it has
been maintained
and controlled by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
lovers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
zoos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
completely shutdown and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be freed
in to the wild or
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sanctuaries", the plural form of the noun 'sanctuary'?
sanctuarys
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we will discuss several problems of zoos and
also
talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
if they close in the future.

There are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as hundreds of species of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are displayed
in the zoos in every country. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to poor maintenance and lack of food supply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species are dying from disease and starved to death.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick when seasonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
takes place
especially
in the hot summer.
For instance
, In
Possible spelling mistake found.
africa
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are not protected by authorities when temperature reaches high as 45 degree centigrade,
as a result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
suffer from sun stroke and exhausted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to heat waves.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
cannot survive in zoo if there is no proper
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintenace
, temperature and food
is provided
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
to zoos where we can protect various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species and promote tourism.
Firstly
, Freeing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in to national parks and sanctuary will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
population of species. Allowing safari tour brings a new experience for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to enjoy the nature and the revenue generated can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
protection.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in captivity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to prolong their life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, an elephant can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the wild for about 60 to 70 years, when it is in the captivity we can protect their life to 90-100 years
Possible spelling mistake found.
approximatly
.
Thus
, when compared to zoo, national parks are the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
for protecting animals.

In conclusion
, zoos might
be closed
in the future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to improper
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintanance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is always an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from human negligence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I believe national parks and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "sanctuaries", the plural form of the noun 'sanctuary'?
sanctuarys
are the best places to preserve endangered species.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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