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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measurements are required. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measurements are required. 7aaMA
While some opine that the most effective method to better community health is by providing them with ample sport facilities, others believe that this would not be enough to ensure people a healthy lifestyle and other actions must be considered. In my opinion, I consider that supplying population with sport facilities alone would not be the best option, but a vital factor is in educating them about healthy diet. On the one hand, some advocate that the most fruitful way to boost public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities and the government ought to provide neighborhoods with fitness corners, which includes, bars, treadmills, and cycles. In other words, this regulation would motivate people to exercise more once they have needed machines in abundance at their convenience. For example, according to the research of “Fit-Pro organization” that was conducted in Fergana city in March 2021, residents, especially growing adolescents and elderly, said that should they had more exercise machines in their residential areas, they would exercise more. On the other hand, it makes sense that some people believe that it is not possible to urge communities to lead healthy lifestyles by only increasing sport facilities, but eating balanced diet must be taken into account as well and I agree. Furthermore, despite people exercising, their general well-being depends on what they consume and awareness of how many calories their bodies need to intake in accord with their movements. In addition, the most efficient way to encourage people to live a healthy life is to educate them about eating a balanced diet even on popular platforms of social media such as Instagram and Facebook. In fact, BBC statistics shows us that 15 percent of regular gym attenders in the USA tend to not be healthy due to their eating disorders. In conclusion, although some people say that the finest approach to improve public health is to increase the sport facilities, others firmly believe the key to stimulate community health lies in other actions. From my point of view, the focus should be more on educating what we eat in order to assure a healthy lifestyle rather than providing people with sport facilities.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opine that the most effective method to better community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is by providing them with ample
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities, others believe that this would not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
actions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
. In my opinion, I consider that supplying population with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities alone would not be the best option,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a vital factor is in educating them about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advocate that the most fruitful way to boost public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is by increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to provide neighborhoods with fitness corners, which includes, bars, treadmills, and cycles. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, this regulation would motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to exercise more once they have needed machines in abundance at their convenience.
For example
, according to the research of “Fit-Pro organization” that
was conducted
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fergana
city in March 2021, residents,
especially
growing adolescents and elderly, said that should they had more exercise machines in their residential areas, they would exercise more.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is not possible to urge communities to lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyles by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
eating balanced diet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be taken
into account
as well
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Furthermore
, despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exercising, their general well-being depends on what they consume and awareness of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
calories their bodies need to intake in accord with their movements.
In addition
, the most efficient way to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life is to educate them about eating a balanced diet even on popular platforms of social media such as Instagram and Facebook. In fact, BBC statistics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us that 15 percent of regular gym attenders in the USA tend to not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
due to their eating disorders.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that the finest approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is to increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities, others
firmly
believe the key to stimulate community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
lies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
actions. From my point of view, the focus should be more on educating what we eat in order to assure a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle
rather
than providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measurements are required.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sport facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and other measurements are required. Discuss both views and give you opinion.