Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people believe that young people should spend more of their free time with family instead of other entertainment. Do you agree or disagree.

Many people believe that young people should spend more of their free time with family instead of other entertainment. ABgdN
It is widely acknowledged fact of get set age, in present scenario, everyone is overwhelmed with a lot of commitment. It is often argued that whether teenagers should utilize their leisure time with family or other on entertainment sources. However, I believe that family is a incredible for learning interesting things. Commencing with most salient reason, why you once need to be in the company of family, it aids to strengthen bonds with them. Apart from this, they can learn ethical and moral values of they are spend time with family. Nevertheless, when they you use time with family then they will able to live healthy and ameliorate harmony in their relationship. Because they are under the supervision of elders it leads to help them avoid wrong path and doing illegal activities. Another worth considering reason is holistic development that is only attained in the company of family. Young once neither take care of health nor concentrate adequately on studies by using electronic gadgets. Additionally, family not only support to youth in decision making but also bestowed financial crisis. A good illustration of this could be, numerous young once addicted for playing blue whale worldwide, this game become aggressive behaviour of children and force them to indulge in wrong activities. In conclusion, according to my perspective, despite the benefits of recreational activities, strong bond, guidance cannot be adopted by youngsters until they not spend time with family.
It is
widely
acknowledged fact of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
set age, in present scenario, everyone
is overwhelmed
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
commitment. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should utilize their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
or other on entertainment sources.
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
incredible for learning interesting things.

Commencing with most salient reason, why you once need to be in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, it aids to strengthen bonds with them. Apart from this, they can learn ethical and moral values of they are
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Nevertheless
, when they you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
then they
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
healthy and ameliorate harmony in their relationship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they are under the supervision of elders it leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path and doing illegal activities.

Another worth considering reason is holistic development
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
attained in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Young once neither take care of health nor concentrate
adequately
on studies by using electronic gadgets.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
support to youth in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
bestowed financial crisis. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this could be, numerous young once addicted for playing blue whale worldwide, this game become aggressive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of children and force them to indulge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
activities.

In conclusion
, according to my perspective, despite the benefits of recreational activities, strong bond, guidance cannot
be adopted
by youngsters until they not spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Many people believe that young people should spend more of their free time with family instead of other entertainment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts