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Do you think it is more important to do things to make other people happy than it is to do things to make yourself happy? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Do you think it is more important to do things to make other people happy than it is to do things to make yourself happy? leRbK
Some people think that making others happy is more important than making yourself happy. happy. Every single person wants happiness in their life, someone catch this happines with another one smile but another one thinks only about themselfs. In this essay I would like to talk about both of them. Firstly, when you do not put yourself at first level and do not love yourself, you cannot love another one. If you want make other one happy and see their smile first you should be happy you cannot catch happiness in someone else. For example, you have a very bad day and you cannot thinking positive, then someone come to you and start laughing and smiling, however you feel much better but are you completely feel good? On another hand, it is very perfect to make another person happy and give them postive vibes. In my view, everyone should not only love them self, but also love each other. Furthermore happiness is inside the humen you must find it in yourself, in another words you cannot find happiness in another person or even in another place, so if you can be happy in everywhere you can help others to find happiness in themselfs. To sum up, do not waste your time in another person or in another places, just focus on yourself and think about just about your soul, you can find positive vibes and happiness only in yourself.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that making others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than making yourself
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
happy
. Every single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
wants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in their life, someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "catches", "caught".
catch
this
Possible spelling mistake found.
happines
with another one smile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
another one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about
Possible spelling mistake found.
themselfs
. In this essay I would like to talk about both of them.

Firstly
, when you do not put yourself at
first
level and do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
yourself, you cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
another one. If you want
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their smile
first
you should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
you cannot catch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in someone else.
For example
, you have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
day and you cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "think"
thinking
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positive
, then someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to you and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
laughing and smiling,
however
you feel much better
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but
are you completely feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
?

On another hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
perfect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and give them
Possible spelling mistake found.
postive
vibes. In my view, everyone should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
them self,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
love
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is inside the
Possible spelling mistake found.
humen
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it in yourself, in
Did you mean "in other words"?
another words
you cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
or even in another place,
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so
if you can be
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happy
in everywhere you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
themselfs
.

To sum up, do not waste your time in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
or in another places,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on yourself and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about your soul, you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
vibes and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in yourself.
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IELTS essay Do you think it is more important to do things to make other people happy than it is to do things to make yourself happy?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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