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Many people believe that we should focus on more GM foods. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v.1

Many people believe that we should focus on more GM foods. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 1
Overpopulation of urban areas is one of the most pressing issues that we are facing today, which has led to severe problems, environmentally and economically. The effects of overpopulation are accelerating alarmingly and thus, it has become crucial to identify these problems and determine ways to tackle them. Firstly, overpopulation leads to overcrowding and thus, demand exceeds supply. As human population keeps on rising, exhaustible natural resources like arable land, fossil fuels etc. Continue to drop sharply. This results in the depletion of natural resources, for example, the reckless cutting of trees to facilitate the housing needs of a large population. It also becomes difficult to cater to the ever-growing requirements of an overpopulated nation and thus, one has to compromise on the quality of life in terms of infrastructure, health and hygiene facilities, education and employment opportunities. It has become necessary to stabilize the rampant population growth. It is high time the government and individuals took responsibility to control the rate of population. In order to reduce its adverse impacts, government must implement measures such as spreading awareness among people and introducing suitable policies to curb the growth rate of population. For example, introduction of family planning programs and easy access to safe and effective contraceptive options. As fertility depends on the age of marriage, minimum age of marriage should be fixed and firmly implemented by law. Individuals too must take responsibility to educate themselves and those around them about the adverse effects of overpopulation. They must also make effective use of birth control methods and co-operate with the government to control overpopulation. The need of the hour is to focus on changing the mindset of people because the threat presented by the problem of overpopulation to the economic progress and our environment is inevitable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Overpopulation
of urban areas is one of the most pressing issues that we are facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, which has led to severe problems,
environmentally
and
economically
. The effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
are accelerating
alarmingly
and
thus
, it has become crucial to identify these problems and determine ways to tackle them.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
leads to overcrowding and
thus
, demand exceeds supply. As human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
on rising, exhaustible natural resources like arable land, fossil fuels etc. Continue to drop
sharply
. This results in the depletion of natural resources,
for example
, the reckless cutting of trees to facilitate the housing needs of a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. It
also
becomes difficult to cater to the ever-growing requirements of an overpopulated nation and
thus
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
compromise on the quality of life in terms of infrastructure, health and hygiene facilities, education and employment opportunities.

It has become necessary to stabilize the rampant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
is high time the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals took responsibility to control the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its adverse impacts,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
implement measures such as spreading awareness among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and introducing suitable policies to curb the growth rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
For example
, introduction of family planning programs and easy access to safe and effective contraceptive options. As fertility depends on the age of marriage, minimum age of marriage should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
and
firmly
implemented by law.

Individuals too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take responsibility to educate themselves and those around them about the adverse effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
effective
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of birth control methods and co-operate with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to control overpopulation.

The need of the hour is to focus on changing the mindset of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the threat presented by the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overpopulation
to the economic progress and our environment is inevitable.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that we should focus on more GM foods. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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