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There is a drastic contrast between different types of people on whether people perform well when they do one task at a time or doing multi tasks and perform bad. While, it is contradicted by many that people people could be able to do different things bu v.1

There is a drastic contrast between different types of people on whether people perform well when they do one task at a time or doing multi tasks and perform bad. While, it is contradicted by many that people people could be able to do different things bu v. 1
Parents play a very important role in building their child's attitude towards life. It is necessary to guide children to take part in activities, making them outperform among the group and also to make them excel in their academics by spending time themselves. This essay throws light on both the views. Firstly, getting engaged in group activities gives a different perception to life and its challenges. It will help in better understanding of human behaviour and alignment to the thought process of the group. For instance, it is often seen that children’s spending their free time with groups of their age or mixed ages are smarter than children’s who do not. The approach to tackle problematic situations gets better as it involves capturing of other’s emotions and their approach to resolve them resulting in building leadership qualities in a child. Hence, being a part of an organized gathering of the same age or mixed, brings in a lot of value addition to the academics. However, spending free time always on your own comes with its own challenges. Children have a tendency to get addicted to activities or things, they like in their first sight. Spending time only with activities or things you like, brings lack of social behaviour and lack of competency in them. For example, it is observed that children not involved in group activities are addicted to mobile games, computer games or some TV shows and thus not allowing them to stay physically fit and understand human psychology. In a nutshell, in my opinion, getting engaged in group activities brings smartness to children and it should be planned and encouraged by parents more often for the free time of their children.
Parents play a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in building their child's attitude towards life. It is necessary to guide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, making them outperform among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them excel in their academics by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
themselves. This essay throws light on both the views.

Firstly
, getting engaged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
gives a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perception to life and its challenges. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in better understanding of human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and alignment to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
For instance
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
of their age or mixed ages are smarter than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
who do not.

The approach to tackle problematic situations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
better as it involves capturing of other’s emotions and their approach to resolve them resulting in building leadership qualities in a child.
Hence
, being a part of an organized gathering of the same age or mixed, brings in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
value addition to the academics.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
always on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
challenges.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
have a tendency to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
or things, they like in their
first
sight.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
or things you like, brings lack of social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and lack of competency in them.
For example
, it
is observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are addicted
to mobile games, computer games or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and
thus
not allowing them to stay
physically
fit and understand human psychology.

In a nutshell, in my opinion, getting engaged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
brings smartness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and it should
be planned
and encouraged by parents more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
for the free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay There is a drastic contrast between different types of people on whether people perform well when they do one task at a time or doing multi tasks and perform bad. While, it is contradicted by many that people people could be able to do different things bu v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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