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Government should focus their spending on public service rather than on arts such as music and painting v.2

Government should focus their spending on public service rather than on arts such as music and painting v. 2
Art reflect the culture and heritage of a nation as well as creativity of an artist. presently, public services need hefty sum of money by the authority as compared to art. lets ponder deeper to have more clarity on this topic. one school of thought reckon that administration has abundance problem already which spread their roots in this globe. to instance, problem like poverty, starvation, health disorder and air pollution are spreading their roots in developed and developing countries. hence, government fund have to be invested on the solution of there concerns for the betterment of folks. moreover, as pollution is being mushrooming day by day where authority should spend on public transport and public transport should be well equipped with salient features along with economical rates. As a result, folks will prefer public transport instead of their own vehicle which helps to uproot pollution menace. probing further, government ought to build libraries, school and hospitals in remote areas. To exemplify, by having these facilities life could be very convenient of the citizens and literacy level will upsurge. beside this, job should be created by the authority in every thick where folk can toil to perform well to earn back and belly. hence, authority should look after the public. Another school of thought deem that, art and craft horizon the broaden of once mind. As it is well said that without art life would be like soup without salt. Furthermore, public places are being decorated by the painters which surge the beauty of town with leaps and bounds. beside this, by learning art creativity will boost which would be very lucrative for the public in their entire life. Moreover, music is a good source of amusement and ought to supported by the administration hence, authority should finance the art. As, speaks the thousand words. To recapitulate, i pen down saying that art in important in this contemporary era. However government should work on another big issues as well as on citizens services.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "reflects".
reflect
the culture and heritage of a nation as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as creativity of an artist.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
presently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
services need hefty sum of money by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
Did you mean "let's" (let's = let us; lets = 3rd person singular of 'let')?
lets
ponder deeper to have more clarity on this topic.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
reckon that administration has abundance problem already which spread their roots in this globe.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
instance, problem like poverty, starvation, health disorder and air pollution are spreading their roots in developed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
fund
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be invested
on the solution of
Did you mean "their"?
there
concerns for the betterment of folks.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
, as pollution is being mushrooming day by
It is better to use 'day' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "day when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
day where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
should spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport should be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well equipped
with salient features along with economical rates.
As a result
, folks will prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport
instead
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicle which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to uproot pollution menace.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
probing
further
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
ought to build libraries, school and hospitals in remote areas. To exemplify, by having these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "facilities'" or "facility's"?
facilities
life could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient of the citizens and literacy level will upsurge.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
beside
this, job should
be created
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
in every thick where folk can toil to perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
to earn back and belly.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
should look after the public.

Another school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
deem that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and craft horizon
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'broaden' is correct. If 'broaden' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the broaden
of once mind.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
said that without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
life would be like soup without salt.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places are
being decorated
by the painters which surge the beauty of town with leaps and bounds.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
beside
this, by learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
creativity will boost which would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lucrative for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
in their entire life.
Moreover
, music is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of amusement and ought to supported by the administration
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
should finance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
, speaks the thousand words.

To recapitulate,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
pen down saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in this contemporary era.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should work on another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issues as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as on citizens services.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes

IELTS essay Government should focus their spending on public service rather than on arts such as music and painting v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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