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"Many people believe that television can influence people’s behavior”. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

"Many people believe that television can influence people’s behavior”. brboQ
Some peoplethink that all forms of entertainment affect society. In my opinion, movies and television program really do influence how people behave. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. It is true that the early technological advancements have helped and changed the way of people's life. The telephone, for instance, at the time of its invention revolutionized communication, keeping people connected beyond geographical barriers. Furthermore, the invention of different modes of transportation in the olden times, such as steam engine trains and cars, improved connectivity. In other words, people could travel from one place to the other beyond travel on foot, goods could also be transported and traded with ease beyond the distance. Also, the previous technological developments certainly have laid the foundation for newer advancements to take place. On the other hand, TV program and movies also provide people with a lot of positive role models. For people who desire to watch wholesome shows, there are many family-friendly options to choose from. Programs of this type showcase functioning and stable families. They don’t just display traditional and conservative families, but caring, loving people from many different backgrounds and with many different beliefs. For instance, my own family often takes inspiration from the parents and children we see on our favorite family drama, “The Bosby Show. ” We are not always able to live up to the ideals the program presents to us, but they positively impact the way we behave every day. We are really thankful for the influence it has on our lives. In conclusion, I agree that television and movies influence the way almost everyone behaves in modern society. This is because some movies cause us to act in detrimental ways, and because other shows inspire us to emulate and embrace positive values.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Possible spelling mistake found.
peoplethink
that all forms of entertainment affect society. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
really
do influence how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
behave. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

It is true that the early technological advancements have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life. The telephone,
for instance
, at the time of its invention revolutionized communication, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connected beyond geographical barriers.
Furthermore
, the invention of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
modes of transportation in the olden times, such as steam engine trains and cars,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
connectivity. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could travel from one place to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
beyond travel on foot,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
could
also
be transported
and traded with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
beyond the distance.
Also
, the previous technological developments
certainly
have laid the foundation for newer advancements to take place.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
also
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
role models. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
wholesome
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
family-friendly options to choose from.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Programs
of this type showcase functioning and stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. They don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
display traditional and conservative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
caring, loving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
backgrounds and with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs.
For instance
, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
takes inspiration from the parents and children we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on our favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
drama, “The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bosby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Show
. ” We are not always able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
up to the ideals the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
presents to us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
positively
impact the way we behave every day. We are
really
thankful for the influence it has on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that television and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
influence the way almost everyone behaves in modern society. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
cause us to act in detrimental ways, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
inspire us to emulate and embrace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
values.
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IELTS essay "Many people believe that television can influence people’s behavior”.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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