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Many people believe that sport classes in schools should be replaced by other academic courses.

Many people believe that sport classes in schools should be replaced by other academic courses. VlqJO
Many people believe that sport classes in schools should be replaced by other academic courses. Some countries of the world accepted this view. I partly agree with that idea, and in my view, students can improve their academic profile. However, teaching those courses have some important strong points, which should be mentioned. First of all, more academic courses could help students to improve their grades and improve their knowledge in many different fields. Also, sports demand time and energy, which are valuable for children whose academic goals are difficult. Academies could change those outdoor activities, with more academic practice and workshops in some fields. For example, foreign language skill is too important for a student, having a dream about an international career. In addition, new courses like the science of robots can entry in every stage of education, in this way students improve their knowledge, being ready for their future careers as employers. On the other hand, sport classes are too important, so as to help you relaxing for other difficult courses like mathematics and biology, which are need so much attention. Moreover, I believe that those types of lessons give the opportunity to talented students, to approve their abilities. For example, in American high schools every academy has its own team for every kind of sports. Some of the most successful athletes started their careers for those teams. Taking everything into consideration, more academic courses will help members of school community to identify their own interest and their own dreams. Some of those dreams might be connected with sport courses. All in all, I believe that school hours for outdoor exercise need to be reduced but education institutes do not have to stope those courses totally.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
classes in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
be replaced
by other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
countries of the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
this view. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, and in my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
profile.
However
, teaching those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
strong points, which should
be mentioned
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their grades and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their knowledge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
demand time and energy, which are valuable for children whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
goals are difficult. Academies could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
those outdoor activities, with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
practice and workshops in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fields.
For example
, foreign language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, having a dream about an international career.
In addition
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
like the science of robots can entry in every stage of education, in this way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their knowledge, being ready for their future careers as employers.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
classes are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you
The verb 'so' is used with an infinitive: "to relax" or "relax".
relaxing
for other difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
like mathematics and biology, which
are need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much attention.
Moreover
, I believe that those types of lessons give the opportunity to talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, to approve their abilities.
For example
, in American high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
every academy has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
team for every kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of the most successful athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
their careers for those teams.

Taking everything into consideration, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
members of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
community to identify their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
dreams.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of those dreams might
be connected
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
. All in all, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hours for outdoor exercise need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
education institutes do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
Possible spelling mistake found.
stope
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
totally
.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that sport classes in schools should be replaced by other academic courses.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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