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developing countries should not spend money on space because there is a lot of progress work to do for the welfare of the people in their countrylike housing and healthcare. To what extend do you agree or disagree? Give reasons and examples to justify your opinion.

developing countries should not spend money on space because there is a lot of progress work to do for the welfare of the people in their countrylike housing and healthcare. Give reasons and examples to justify your opinion. 8aWkr
In this modern era every country want to do research on space technology and also they want to send their own satellites. So, all developing countries have also started spending their currency in space by ignoring the fact try needs to be developed in many ways like healthcare, housing and many more. I totally agree with this statement. First and foremost, government should develop their country's healthcare as developing country do not have better healthcare facilities. For example: In this COVID-19 situation many countries like India were not have much ventilator's so there were numerous people who were dead due to shortage. Also, space does not contribute to the economy of the country rather employment contributes to the country leaders should try to increase employment opportunities so lifestyle of the individual gets perfect. Moreover, the poverty rate of developing country is high
In this modern era every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
want to do research on space technology and
also
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
satellites.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, all developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
spending their currency in space by ignoring the fact try needs to
be developed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways like healthcare, housing and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
First
and foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should develop their country's healthcare as developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
do not have better healthcare facilities.
For example
: In this COVID-19 situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India were not
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
much ventilator's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there were numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who were dead due to shortage.
Also
, space does not contribute to the economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
rather
employment contributes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
leaders should try to increase employment opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lifestyle of the individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
perfect.
Moreover
, the poverty rate of developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is high

IELTS essay developing countries should not spend money on space because there is a lot of progress work to do for the welfare of the people in their countrylike housing and healthcare. Give reasons and examples to justify your opinion.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
141 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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