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"Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society" To what extent do you agree? v.4

"Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society" v. 4
A big deal of people agree that social networking sites, like Facebook, have had an immense negative effect on individual people as well as society. Notwithstanding, I make use of them daily, I agree that they have had a bad outcome in people´s lives. In my opinion, I agree with this statement, considering that this media bring daily life advantages, making distances shorter among people from different countries. Social networks allow us to meet and communicate with a population far away from us instantly, using only a smartphone or a computer. They are an easy way to interact, by chat or video call; they also offer us worldwide information and entertainment. Conversely, the negative effects are more, and they are due to the wrong use that people give to the media, as well as you can know and be keen on the news, the process of communication, in this case, usually used to be false, not all the information online is true; and you have to take care of this and confirm the report. Also, they have been the perfect place for incrementing cyber bullying and addiction to them. Besides, other consequences would be to lose interaction with society and being exposed to unknown people. To show that, now people are more interested in what happens in their electrical devices, instead of their surroundings, they prefer to believe a notice they saw in the phone after prove it, each time the physical relationships are lower, while the cyber bullying and suicides are increasing. To conclude, the social networks as well as they have advantages the disadvantages are more, and to reduce this number we have to cooperate and be conscious of the use we give to them.
A
big
deal of
people
agree
that social networking sites, like Facebook, have had an immense
negative
effect on individual
people
as well
as society. Notwithstanding, I
make
use
of them daily, I
agree
that they have had a
bad
outcome in
people´s
lives
. In my opinion, I
agree
with this statement, considering that
this
media bring daily life advantages, making distances shorter among
people
from
different
countries. Social networks
allow
us to
meet
and communicate with a population far away from us
instantly
, using
only
a smartphone or a computer. They are an easy way to interact, by chat or video call; they
also
offer us worldwide information and entertainment.
Conversely
, the
negative
effects are more, and they are due to the
wrong
use
that
people
give to the media,
as well
as you can know and be keen on the news, the process of communication,
in this case
,
usually
used
to be false, not all the information online is true; and you
have to
take care of this and confirm the report.
Also
, they have been the perfect place for incrementing
cyber bullying
and addiction to them.
Besides
, other consequences would be to lose interaction with society and
being exposed
to unknown
people
. To
show
that,
now
people
are more interested in what happens in their electrical devices,
instead
of their surroundings, they prefer to believe a notice they
saw
in the phone after prove it, each time the physical relationships are lower, while the
cyber bullying
and suicides are increasing.
To conclude
, the social networks
as well
as they have advantages the disadvantages are more, and to
reduce
this number we
have to
cooperate and be conscious of the
use
we give to them.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay "Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society" v. 4

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
287 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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