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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v.8

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 8
Nowadays people believed tremendously in social media, because of current affairs. Individuals need to know the news in the world. Social media such as Facebook have newer posts every minute. So people check their friends posts and follow up with them. Also, Social media some more gossip also posted Some people, not like this human activity. I believe social media have more benefits and I agree some disagree also there. Let me discuss here both points of view. With regard to individuals, the impact that social media has had more clear benefits of individual people. Teenagers have met their desired childhood friends using this online social media. Meanwhile, social media have online shopping also available, people using, that their leisure time in this shopping online. So it has reduced their valuable time. Impressively, the child is playing online games with their friends. Social media stimulate the art of people creative power. They can more reference with searching on this and huge available thing there. On the other hand, Some unrealistic news has been creating plenty of negative impact on individuals. Some people posting their pleasure, but it has affected some other people. In order that, Apart from being potentially addictive and hampering productivity. Facebook also is known to place strain on the relationships due to how easy it has connected the people from the past. Whereas many people using Facebook their mobile phone App. Sometimes some malware injects and hacking their personal details. To conclude, although social networking sites have brought individuals closer together, they have not had the same effect on society or local communities. Local communities should do more to try and involve local people in local activities in order to promote the future of community life.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believed
tremendously
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
need to know the news in the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as Facebook have newer posts every minute.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their friends posts and follow up with them.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more gossip
also
posted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, not like this human activity. I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have more benefits and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disagree
also
there.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me discuss here both points of view.

With regard to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
, the impact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has had more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
have met their desired childhood friends using this online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have online shopping
also
available,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using, that their leisure time in this shopping online.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
their valuable time.
Impressively
, the child is playing online games with their friends.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
stimulate the art of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
creative power. They can more reference with searching on this and huge available thing there.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
unrealistic news has been creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
posting their pleasure,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In order that, Apart from being
potentially
addictive and hampering productivity. Facebook
also
is known
to place strain on the relationships due to how easy it has connected the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the past.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using Facebook their mobile phone App.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
malware injects and hacking their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites have brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
closer together, they have not had the same effect on society or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Local
communities should do more to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
involve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
activities in order to promote the future of community life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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