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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v. 125 v.22

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 125 v. 22
I totally disagree with this view. As far as I am concerned, the benefits the social networking sites bring to us is more than the negative impacts Firstly, these social networking sites helps broaden our horizons in terms of individuals. Foe example, like YouTube, these sites not only allow us to see the world with our little digital gadgets, but also help us to know more about people from the other countries by communicating with them instead of learning from the tourist brochures. It's undeniable that the fake news nowadays is also booming, but every coin has its two sides, compare with the unfavourable impacts than the desirable ones, there's more we can praise than blame on. Secondly, these social networking union the society. Some social media like Facebook and Instagram allows us to share and connect with people who are far from us. As a result, people can have a closer relationship with each other than before having these social networking sites. Before its invention, people can only share messages using doves, which takes a long time for one turn, but after these social media sites, people can share the messages within few minutes. Therefore, it gathers people together by being able to chat more often. To summarise, these sites are advantageous to us much more than the undesirable sides it has brought. Since they can help change our life by letting us know more about this world and connecting one and others, we should appreciate more about it than to depriving it.
I
totally
disagree with this view. As far as I
am concerned
, the benefits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
bring to us is more than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
impacts


Firstly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
broaden our horizons in terms of individuals. Foe example, like YouTube, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the world with our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
digital gadgets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to know more about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the other countries by communicating with them
instead
of learning from the tourist brochures. It's undeniable that the fake news nowadays is
also
booming,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
every coin has its two sides, compare with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
impacts than the desirable ones, there's more we can praise than blame on.

Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking union the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media like Facebook and Instagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to share and connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are far from us.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have a closer relationship with each other than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
having these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
its invention,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
share messages using doves, which takes a long time for one turn,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can share the messages within few minutes.
Therefore
, it gathers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together by being able to chat more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are advantageous to us much more than the undesirable sides it has brought. Since they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our life by letting us know more about this world and connecting one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
, we should appreciate more about it than to depriving it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 125 v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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