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Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v.16

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 16
With the invent of the Internet, the lifestyle of people has changed drastically. With the introduction of social media sites, people get used to those, and heavy usage has been observed. I think the usage of social media impact once life in a negative way. Undoubtedly, social networking sites are top-rated among young and older adults. They are using those sites to stay updated and to communicate with their relatives and friends by sharing pictures and videos or chatting with them. For instance, by subscribing to new Facebook groups, they can find more friends who have similar thoughts and life patterns which assists them in many ways. An excellent Facebook group will share knowledgeable subject matter which assists others. Nevertheless, with the introduction of Facebook, Instagram and YouTube, many people are using it for many illegal activities such as organising parties which offer drugs and provide bad influence through closed groups. Recently, in Negambo, there was a successful raid of such party, and the police captured around one hundred youngsters with illegal drugs. It is observed that the younger generation is always in search of such parties. Furthermore, addiction to social networking sites is increasing rapidly, and as a result, people are losing time, which can be used for some other productive activity. The craving desire to browse through news feeds and the posts from others has increased dramatically, and as a result, most of the IT companies have banded usage of social media such as Facebook, Twitter during the office hours to improve the productivity of the workforce. In conclusion, the usage of social media has immensely impacted negatively, and as a consequence, people get into trouble and lose time affecting productivity.
With the
The word 'invent' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "invention"?
invent
of the Internet, the lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
. With the introduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to those, and heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
has
been observed
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
impact once life in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
way.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
are top-rated among young and older adults. They are using those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
to stay updated and to communicate with their relatives and friends by sharing pictures and videos or chatting with them.
For instance
, by subscribing to new Facebook groups, they can find more friends who have similar thoughts and life patterns which assists them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. An excellent Facebook group will share knowledgeable
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
which assists others.

Nevertheless
, with the introduction of Facebook, Instagram and YouTube,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using it for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
illegal activities such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
parties which offer drugs and provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence through closed groups. Recently, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Negambo
, there was a successful raid of such party, and the police captured around one hundred youngsters with illegal drugs. It
is observed
that the younger generation is always in search of such parties.

Furthermore
, addiction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
is increasing
rapidly
, and
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are losing time, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other productive activity. The craving desire to browse through news feeds and the posts from others has increased
dramatically
, and
as a result
, most of the IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have banded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as Facebook, Twitter during the office hours to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the productivity of the workforce.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has
immensely
impacted
negatively
, and as a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into trouble and lose time affecting productivity.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 16

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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